Why I Tri

May 4th, 2010 I decided to sign up for a triathlon and wrote about it on the older version of this blog. I didn't know how to swim, I hadn't ran in a few years, but I commuted to work daily by bike. I spent the past decade divided between my healthy self (going to the gym, hiking, backpacking, eating healthy) and my indulgent self (drinking too much, the occasional cigarette, staying up late, and prone to eating too much junk). I was in a cycle of being relatively healthy all week, then crashing into the party zone on the weekend. Every Monday I'd recommit to my healthy lifestyle, and every Friday I'd be careening back into my Bacchanalian ways. For many 20 and 30-somethings, that's a normal lifestyle, but I wasn't happy.

The seesaw motion was keeping me in limbo. I tend to be a high energy, high volume person prone to doing things 110%, even if those things are not good for me. I always found it necessary to have a release for the amount of effervescent energy, chaos and swirling thoughts that made me feel like bouncing up and down, rattling in my skull, and begged to be let out. My pressure valve always was in things that weren't good for me - anything that would take me down a notch, slow my brain, settle my thoughts, cloud my vision and muffle my cares. I was always taking three steps forward and three steps back, effectively going nowhere. I knew what I was doing wasn't my best choice, but habits are hard to break. 

And then, everything changed. I committed to Escape From Alcatraz and realized that without committing fully to training, I would never survive the swim. Since the beginning of the year, we've been training hard. Six days a week, one to two workouts a day, hours of time well spent in sun, salt, wind and sweat. What once was a one-off fling with a new sport has become a full-fledged part of my life and a huge boon to who I am. I've had a lot of time to reflect on these changes and the importance of the sport in my life. 

• Triathlon has forced me to make a choice between the two halves of myself. I am either going to be healthy or be on the see-saw of stagnation. One or the other. No in between. 

• Triathlon has proved to me that I have no idea what I am capable of doing. It has taught me that what I think I can and cannot do is total bullshit. I've been believing a lot of bullshit for three decades. Imagine the things I can do when I no longer believe in limits!

• Triathlon has given me the schedule and routine that organizes my life. It's insane, I realize that. Time management has never been my forte. In elementary school I received bad marks for time management and handwriting. My handwriting is still sloppy, but that's okay, I've finally learned how to allocate my time.

• Triathlon has taught me to fill my sails with only that which pushes me in the direction I want to go. I cannot be happy with unhappy thoughts. I cannot be confident when full of self-doubt. I cannot share love if I'm smoldering with resentment. I cannot be free if I'm burdened down by guilt. The more fun I had training; the more outgoing, active, and inspiring people I've met; the more confidence, courage and self-worth I've gained; the more I feel like I'm going in the right direction. Then too, the less I feel the need to make room in my life for anything that doesn't inspire happiness.

• Triathlon is a built in excuse for avoiding extra snacks, too much to drink, and late nights that I'll regret otherwise. I'd love to go on a binge weekend with you in Las Vegas with a hundred people tons of tequila shots, bad decisions and all nighters, really, but I have a race I'm training for! 

• Triathlon has shown me that there is little in life better than pushing your body past your mind's limits, spending all day in the sun, spending time with friends, seeing some of the most beautiful landscapes in the area, and feeling alive. 

• Lastly, triathlon has taught me how to make time for what matters. In a life with not enough hours in the day to divvy up between work, family, friends, obligations, chores, hobbies and exercise finding time to enjoy being alive can be tricky. Before you know it the year is over and you can't put your finger on a single moment. Maybe I don't have as much "fun" as I used to. Maybe I don't go out and have tons of fancy photos to show for my time. Maybe I don't make plans as much, or have something exciting going on all the time. Maybe I say "no" sometimes to friends and family. Maybe I look crazy to other people. 

Today, I saw the crescent of the moon every time I breathed during swimming. I chased rabbits down the trail as the sun rose. I stopped and took in the reflections of the morning in the Back Bay. I noticed different views I'd like to paint. I chatted with Adam. I spotted plants I'd never seen. I hollered at friends as they rode by. I reveled in the cool spring air. I find that I get more of the time I enjoy out of my day, and less time spent rushing back and forth. People frequently express sympathy at how little time I must have (given how much I spend training). Yet, my training is my time. Swimming is a good place to meditate. Cycling is a fantastic way to see some beautiful areas I didn't know existed! Running allows you to be fully in contact with your surroundings and clear your head completely. 

Week 175,028,734 of Training

Extra-dorky post-training shot!

The weekend before last our group met at Crystal Cove for an open water swim. From the moment we crested a hill on PCH and saw the chop in the water, I knew it wasn't going to be my most successful swim. I'm determined to swim in any and all (safe) conditions, choppy water included. We were heading in as Brad and Thierry were exiting so they joined us for a quick loop. The upside is that the water is warming up! The negative is that it was like trying to swim in a washing machine. I couldn't get a non-sea water breath in me and could not find my rhythm. I kept myself relatively calm and collected until I just couldn't take being shoved around by the sea anymore. I swam for shore and felt excessively relieved upon reaching terra firma. I keep reminding myself that it doesn't matter how well I do, just that I am doing it. Did I show up? Did I swim? Was I more confident? As long as those answers are yes, I'm successful.

This weekend was a blast! We did the OC International Tri course at Lake Mission Viejo along with a group from Tri La Vie. I'm still lacking confidence in my ability to swim long distances. When the halfway buoy was pointed out to us from shore, I though, "whoa, that's a long way"! Part of me kept trying to say, "we'll never make it that far". Learning to not trust that voice has been the biggest change internally in the past year. More than not trusting, I shut that voice the hell up as fast as possible. That voice held me back far too long! Who says I can't swim that far? Not me! Sure enough, not only did I swim the distance, I came in at about 00:32:33 just five minutes behind Adam and the guys! So THERE little negative voice! In your face!

It is a struggle for me to find my groove during the first quarter mile of a group open water swim. People everywhere, legs, arms, everyone swimming all over the place, and the inability to get a good breath and sight where the heck I'm going tend to throw off any attempt at rhythm. Finally I found a girl I could settle in next to. Having another body in the water to swim next to seems to aid in establishing a groove. Finally as we rounded the first buoy, I felt my pace even out and dropped the girl and began passing those who were in too much of a hurry for the first part of the swim. I'm really proud of how I did, but a bit nervous about the mile and a half between Alcatraz and the shore of San Francisco. I'm just going to have to keep having faith in my own insanity.

We headed out on the 25mi bike course shortly after the swim. The course begins with hills so small, so low grade that you don't really see them until you realize you're crawling speed-wise. It's absolutely beautiful in Santiago Canyon - the sunlight plays on the hills, the mustard in full bloom and the lush green of spring! 25 miles seems awfully short after our usual weekend rides have creeped up towards the 40mi range! Riding a bike is pure joy!! Adam missed the half way point in his pure excitement at being on his bike, but we finally all met back up at the car.

I wasn't sure how my shins were feeling so we headed out for a 3 mi run. Everything worked out great, we had a good run and we were back in the car heading home by noon! It's hard to imagine that less than a year ago, a triathlon half that distance (well, same run distance) wiped me out completely. Our dedicated training paid off and we went on to enjoy the rest of the day with friends, sunshine and no debilitating soreness.

Go Big or Go Home!

When I signed up for my first sprint triathlon last year, I looked ahead at the longer races and thought, "No way". No way could I do something like that. No way would I think about that. No way would I ever want to do a race that long, train that hard, or go to that level. Life always has a way of surprising me and the more time goes by, the more I realize I have no clue who I am and what I will want in the days to come!

When the opportunity arose to do my first Half Ironman this year on September 25th super close to home, I am taking it! I've run 13.1 miles. I regularly swim over 1.2 miles. I ride 40 miles already (comfortably). All I have to do is put that all together in one day.

My weakest link? That run. The ride is going to be hard - no joke. It's an 18.1 mile hill UP Ortega Highway, but the last 25 miles are down hill! There's a great 12 week plan on Training Peaks with my name on it. To accomplish anything all I need is a plan. I have the motivation, dedication and passion it takes to follow that plan through.

Hey, life? Keep on bringing me the surprises, I like it!

Weekend Goals

1. I will NOT be scared during open water swimming on Sunday
2. Saturday: 2 hour ride followed by 10 min transition run
3. Sunday: 1 hr 15 min run followed by open water swimming
4. Healthy, balanced diet - no big splurges, keep food intake consistent throughout weekend
5. Stretch and ice shins if necessary
6. Don't just nap the rest of the day after training!

Escape From Alcatraz is a mere 50 days away! I need to be using my open water swim time for swimming, and not just conquering fear. Lately we've been swimming in the deep end of the pool to push longer distances rather than speed, which seems to be the focus of our master's group. We're going to try running first since we have a long run, then cool off in the water with a nice swim. Hopefully that will take me down a notch mentally and help to stretch and cool my muscles after a long run.

I'm still trying to drop weight, as every pound lost makes my life much easier. It's difficult to reduce calories when training so hard, but it can be done safely and slowly. It's too easy at the end of a long training day to feel entitled to something splurge-y and/or eat a bit inconsistently (cereal for dinner, a bag of chips, etc...). I'd also like to work more on not being totally exhausted after my weekend training. Take it easy - yes, but not be forcibly parked on the couch in a prone position.

Spending the weekend outside, having fun, being healthy and active, with a few good people? Perfect!! I'm finding motivation everywhere these days from articles on Active.com to other triathlete's blogs (such as the exceedingly fast Beth Evans). I'm empowered by the wide range of people that are outside jogging and cycling and rollerblading on the trails of the Back Bay. I'm inspired by people who are ten times faster than me and moved by seeing people engaging their bodies in activity regardless of who they are, what they weigh and what speed they move. I see moms running with newborns, swimmers in their 70's, little kids pedaling little bikes, and all of them remind me how lucky we are to be alive and to have the opportunity to move our bodies.

Weekend Recap / Week Preview

Mid run bridge snapshot!

We are back from our weekend in Napa Valley for my sister's wedding! She officially became Mrs.Gnegy after a year of planning and waiting and making everything just right. Thursday evening's hail and sleet worried everyone about the weather for the big day, but we woke up Friday to blue skies! 

We headed out in the 38ish degree morning for a easy paced 50 minute run, hoping to swoop by the flower shop and walk the bouquets home. We traversed the river area making a number of loops until we finally found a nice asphalt bike path. Just about that time, we had to head on back! The flowers weren't ready, so we took an easy walk home to stretch our legs.

The wedding went splendidly and my sister looked absolutely gorgeous! The vineyard setting in the garden area of the restaurant they had selected for their ceremony was stunning. Rolling hills, acres of vineyards, blue sky, huge clouds and plentiful sunshine. On the way to Napa, we headed over the Golden Gate bridge so I could stare hesitantly at Alcatraz. It's some rough water from the island to shore, you could see the chop on the surface. It doesn't look TOO far until you notice the teeny tiny size of the sailboats. Adam's told me all I need to do is be like Dory in Finding Nemo and sing, "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!" so that's what I'll do :)

We rested on Saturday and got back in the swing of things on Sunday with a 2 hour ride. My body is used to plenty of sleep, lots of activity, no alcohol and clean food. A few days of a mixed up schedule took me down a few notches. It's surprising how much your body changes to adjust to a new homeostasis! This ride we went around the bay, up San Joaquin (3.75mi long and 2.9% grade), down Newport Coast, back UP Newport Coast (1.98 mi 4.1% grade) then up and back a few hills along the way on San Joaquin and home.

We're trying to run slower (sounds weird, right?) on our regular runs and pick up the pace hard on intervals. We're doing so much training at this point, that in order to not damage our bodies, we need to slow down a bit and run easier. I've been having a really weird pain in my ankles up the inside of my shins. Looking forward to hammering out a bunch of workouts this week and having a really nice weekend of a long open water swim, a long run and a 2 hour ride. Spending time outside, being active, training hard, keeping it simple...these things bring me the utmost joy!

Changes!

 What's up reader(s)!? I had a little down time and decided to change this up a bit. Starting with the blog name, registering an actual domain name (.com), re-designing the overall point of this blog aaaaand added a few new pages.

The new name of the blog is Eternal Recess at www.eternalrecess.com . While sitting at work staring outside at the mid-70's sunny California weather I thought, "man, I could use a recess about now." You know, when you used to get a break in the middle of school to go outside, get some fresh air, swing on the swingsets, run around a bit and remember that you're alive? Well, I want one.

With all this training, working out is no longer a chore, it's my recess! What could be better than being outdoors, enjoying the gorgeous area we live in, spending time with good friends, being healthy and having a good time? I hope you like the changes, there's a few more to come (a new background and header)!!

March - 60 some days left!

When I found out I made it in the lottery for Escape From Alcatraz, I was terrified. I had some serious doubts about the swim, not to mention the ride and the run. I committed to train as hard as possible and be ready for race day. At the time, everything about the race seemed too big, too far and too scary. After the past months of training and looking ahead at another two months, I not only feel ready, I feel like I'm going to have fun! 

Training six days a week, 1-2 times a day means that I have a very comfortable level of fitness. Training has become enjoyable, instead of "work". I recover quickly and am eager to train the next day. I used to look forward to days off or make excuses to take extra time off. Now, I have to force myself to take rest time, as it feels unproductive yet, I know it's one of the best things for me. My attitude has changed everything. It took awhile for this volume of training to feel good (and some weight lost), but once it did I was able to feel the rewards of all this activity and none of the drawbacks. 

There are a lot of studies that show the link between endorphin release and exercise and increasing seratonin levels through exercise. Increasing seratonin or endorphins in the human body leads to feeling GOOD. Really, euphorically good. Doing so chemically is not so good. Having a legal, healthy, beneficial way to increase seratonin levels in the brain? Total win. A long but fantastic article can be found here and discusses a few ways that seratonin can be increased without drugs as a treatment for depression. While I've never been depressed, it turns out that real sunlight, consistent exercise and longer duration exercise are what's behind the biggest shift in my overall well being. 

While I have always been intrigued by people who did great physical feats or endeavors, I never really understood how they did them, where they found the time, where they found the commitment, and how they mustered the energy. Now I know. For me, the first real step was to stop drinking alcohol. Sure, a few glasses of wine is fun! Getting up the next morning at 4:30a.m. to swim for an hour and then bike for an hour? Not so fun. With a six day a week schedule, a super clean diet and a really healthy body - the effects of alcohol went from being unpleasant to completely punishing. Once I cut out alcohol entirely - everything changed. Tons of energy, motivation, good moods, sound sleep, pounds lost, and a clarity and drive I've never known before! That may not be the ticket for everyone, but it sure catapulted me into being able to really, finally, completely commit to not only triathlon, but many changes in my life.

Now, I'm ready for the OC International Tri, the Escape From Alcatraz and I'm looking forward to signing up for a HALF IRONMAN next year!! The possibilities are endless!