It's been a few weeks now since Ironman Arizona, and we've done absolutely nothing. Well, we've been working our behinds off at Bite Me Kitchen and sleeping a ton, but no actual workouts. Unless you count the weekend we cleaned the house (trust me, after a year of Ironman training it was a workout). I've heard that everyone reacts differently to the toll Ironman takes on you - physically, mentally, emotionally, but nothing prepared me for this level of being tired. I feel like a bear ready for hibernation. I can sleep 10 hours and feel like I could easily knock out another 3-4 hours without trying. Tack on my immune system being hammered from racing with a gnarly cold and I'm just biding my time until I feel 100%. Today my sore throat seems to be on it's way out, so I'm keeping positive that I'll be back in the saddle by the end of the week!
Bite Me Kitchen has been going crazy! It looks like we're going to be expanding as soon as we find the right space. We've continued to accept new clients and have been thrilled with the positive feedback. Both Adam and I always wanted to feel like our 'careers' were giving back to people in some way, yet neither of us realized how fulfilling providing people with healthy, plant-based meals would be. I never thought it would satisfy the same desire, yet every time a client remarks on feeling better, or eating healthier, or recovering faster from workouts, I feel a little spark just knowing that we did something good.
Another funny note, my phone told me today that 3 years ago we rescued our little orange cats, Tyler and Jack from the Newport Cat Protection Society. That day sticks out in my mind for a number of reasons. It was one of those moments that clearly was the beginning of the end. Adam's old company had downsized and left him scrambling to pick up work as a bartender at a horrible nightclub. We were both drinking heavily and regularly and smoking cigarettes. I was about 20lbs heavier. I got in a massive fight with my mom over the phone that night, and I was at the end of my rope. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had the same stupid goals for the last how many years, and was doing absolutely nothing about it. I did, however, have two more kittens and nothing to lose by trying something new. The following year I signed up for a triathlon and my entire life and Adam's entire life changed. We jumped tracks entirely and headed into a brave, bold new future and haven't looked back.
Yet, looking back is sometimes the only way to see how far you've come. I remember that night vividly. I remember being over-emotional, feeling out of control, and so frustrated with my life. I was tired of feeling like such a chicken-shit and not living a life I was passionate about. Not having dreams to chase because I told myself they were not possible. Still listening to the doubts, fears, and worries of others instead of the sweet, clear beat of my own drum. I look at that Rose and I look at this Rose. And we are very, very different people. The other night at the Surf City Cyclery event we catered, a 20-something girl came up to our table and wistfully remarked that I had her dream job. I laughed kindly, since it IS my dream job, and sometimes I don't realize that we're actually doing it. Granted, I still work full-time, but that's now a temporary thing. Last week, a girl asked me how my Ironman was and said that she could never do anything like that. I told her that she could. 3 years ago, I could never do an Ironman either. I couldn't have a business. I couldn't imagine leaving my job. I couldn't be married. I couldn't go a day without drinking. I couldn't eat healthy on a regular basis.
Three years ago, all I could do was allow myself to dream. And I saw a counselor, who told me that I deserved to dream and that I didn't owe it to anyone to settle for less, to play it safe or to be mediocre. So I began to take chances and I began to listen (although it was terrifying) to my own crazy beat. I listened to it when it said to sign up for a triathlon (even though I couldn't swim). I listened to it when it told me that Adam was the person to spend my life with. I listened to it when it said we should start Bite Me Kitchen right now out of nothing. I also listened to it when it said to do an Ironman, so maybe sometimes it's not so bright....
Whatever is in your life right now, can change whenever you are ready. Find out what is in your way from getting what you want. I thought I lacked the money and time to start a business but when I cut out drinking and eating bad food (expensive meat, restaurants, etc), I found the money and time. Today we're contacting people about a bigger kitchen. If that doesn't work we might look at getting our own little place. It's all still scary, but I am just crazy enough to listen to that little beat in me that says, "Yes, go forward, it is the only way!" In 3 more years, I can hardly wait to look back now and see how far I've come.