Eternal Recess - Triathlon + Training

Beauty and the Beast (Triathlete)

2012-02-10T09:12:00.000-08:00

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." - Anna Quindlen, author

This is a post from last year that sat incubating till today. Enjoy!

Adam and I were cooling down from a long ocean swim / trail run brick at Crystal Cove State Park awhile back when we began chatting with a park ranger. He asked us which triathlon we were training for. We must have looked a little surprised so he gestured to our skintight spandex tri outfits, hydration belts, sockless shoes, interchangeable lens glasses and said, "You know, the outfits give it away". We looked down at ourselves and at each other and realized...we're 100% dorky from top to toe. There's just no use caring what you look like in triathlon. Usually my primary concerns are: Am I comfortable? Will this chafe? Is it UPF? Is this top quick dry? Are my girly bits going to be happy in these bike shorts on mile 60? I began to think about how my body image has changed over the years, particularly with my involvement in triathlon.

I come from a family of tiny women. My mom is 5'2" and looks like she's about 100lbs. My sister is tiny with an hourglass figure and a waist the circumference of my right thigh. I've always been taller and bigger and nothing I did was going to change that. I've been in shape, out of shape and somewhere in between and my happiness with my body has usually fluctuated in accordance to how healthy I feel. Yet, I am a girl and when I started triathlon I recall feeling too fat to wear tight shorts, worrying about how I dorky I look and wondering if other athletes look at me like I'm a poser in my fancy workout gear. I realized this day as the ranger laughed at/with our attire, that my body image has shifted quite a bit.

To be honest, with all those endorphins kicking in from the exercise, I feel pretty awesome when I'm working out. In my mind, I'm coated in spandex and I look sort of like the Lara Croft of triathlon. One photo from a race makes me question my connection to reality! My first tendency is to criticize myself, but it's easier to hit the mental switch to credit my body, imperfect as it is, for what it provides me. I am strong, I am healthy, I am flexible, I am working hard on achieving the goals I want in my life and in my body and I don't need to beat myself up. Accepting my body as it is allows me to just have fun. There's no contest, there's no competition, and there's no shame. I'm not worried about my thighs shaking when I run. I'm not worried about sweat marks on my tank top, make-up being right, hair being neat or what my dress size is. I'm free to focus on my workouts and on how I feel.

Being active has healed those self-criticisms and fractures in my confidence and it has abated any need to compare myself to anyone else's body image ideal. I view the beauty of the human body differently. It is a machine built to perform, not an idle work of art to be perched on a pedestal for display. I see perfectly tanned bodies and I love my zebra-stripes of mismatched tan lines more for my lines represent hours spent in bike shorts, running skirts, and swimsuits. I see well manicured and pedicured nails that have never changed a dirty bike tire and have never been bashed to the point of falling off in running shoes. I see thin bodies with skin stretched over bone and I see weakness, frailty and lack of power. I see perfectly smooth skin and I chuckle at the memory of each scar, abrasion, callous and scratch that represent a stepping stone on my way to where I am today. I see more beauty in a body that is being used by it's inhabitant and feel a sense of pride and contentment in my own imperfect perfection.

It's not easy to undo decades of marketing, advertising, criticism from self and others, and false images of what women should look like. The mental conditioning about who you are and what you look like begins the moment you're born. You learn it unwittingly, and it becomes written into your every action and moment. Every glance at a reflection merits judgment, assessment and comparison. It takes time and effort to slowly break those habits and learn to look at yourself and your body in a new light. Learning to silence the self-criticism is the first step to actually being able to hear the myriad of things your body is trying to tell you. Your body will let you know when it feels good, strong, sick, like it’s fighting a little bug off, sore, strained, hungry, and tired. Your body will clue you in to what you need to adjust in your workouts, your diet and your routine. Try viewing your body as a vehicle for experiencing life, as opposed to treating it like a decorative shell.

Feed your body the good food it needs to grow, heal and perform. Hydrate your body with nourishing water. Stretch your body so that your muscles are limber. Exercise to strengthen and tone your body, heart, lungs, and mind. Love your body for what it is, instead of hating it for what it isn’t. Without the constant criticisms and nagging worries, your whole outlook shifts to a brighter disposition and nothing’s more attractive than self-confidence.

Training Update: 2 Half Marathons & More

2012-02-08T14:56:00.000-08:00

2012 is off to a busy start! At the end of last season, I signed up for two half marathons to ensure that I would focus on my run training during off season. The run has always been a bit of a problem for me, as I don't come from a running background. Historically, each time I tried to train for half marathon I'd lose steam half way through my plan, injure something, or simply not start laying down consistent base miles for enough time before ramping up distance or speed. Running itself is not hard to do, but to do it correctly and remain injury free, that takes some work. Since I'd signed up for four Half Ironmans and a Full Ironman, I figured I better get on the ball with this running business. My first half marathon was in January of 2010 at Surf City in HB and I showed up under-trained due to a foot injury (plantar fasciitis) and decided to run anyways (bad choice). Needless to say, it was an unpleasant experience and it hurt like hell. I finally dragged my sorry ass across the finish line in 2:32:39. My next half marathon was at the end of Orangeman 70.3+ in September. I thought I was relatively trained for it, but again the run hammered me into the ground with a depressing 3 hours. Granted it was over 14 miles and it was hills AND it was after swimming 1.2 mi and riding 56 mi of Ortega Highway, but it was NOT the half marathon I wanted and I vowed to never repeat that miserable run/walk/cry again.

I logged plenty of miles in November and December and even ran a nice slow 13.1 on Christmas Day. My mileage felt comfortable and I felt confident that I could get through and possibly even improve my time for the half marathons in January and February. Once I signed on with Joby as my coach, he switched my Sundays from long slow runs to speed-work with add-on slower mileage afterwards. Each Sunday was under 13 miles, but Joby assured me the speed-work sessions would handle the half marathon. The speed-work sessions were brutal and I endured largely through the camaraderie of teammates, our mutual suffering and the confidence that the work now would pay off later.

A great 13.1 with a sweet group of girls!

The last weekend in January found me at the extremely early Tinkerbell Half Marathon with my co-worker and friend Tristan and two super cool runner chick friends of hers! I can't recall the last time I was at Disneyland, but it's been ages. I figured it would be kind of neat to run through the empty park, but had no real expectations and was following a tempo/speed-work plan Joby set out for me to do for the duration of the race. I was tickled by the flood of memories that came back from my childhood as I jogged through what seemed like every square foot of Disneyland. What a trip! Since it was empty, I could clearly pinpoint areas I'd been as a child. I waited in line there. We bought candy there. We went into that shop on Main Street. We watched the parade from here. Never in a million years did I think I'd ever be allowed to run all out through Disneyland! It was a blast, really well organized and a nice way to start my official 2012 season.

Tinkerbell Half Marathon 2012 Results

The following Sunday was the Surf City Half Marathon in Huntington Beach. Joby had backed my training load off a bit the week prior giving me some well needed rest and recovery. On Saturday he sent me 5 pacing options for the race. I realized that I'd be actually racing a half marathon for the first time. There's a big difference between finishing and racing. To be honest I felt nervous about his plans. I knew I could do the slowest plan which had me running pretty much 10:00 min/miles with a little speeding up half way through. What I wasn't sure is if I could run the fastest pace plan which had me running 9:15 min/mi. That's a big difference. Every mile would have to be 45sec faster than the slowest plan and my regular easy/long run pace is more towards 11:00 min/mi. Yet, our speed sessions had often involved around 5+ miles and I had to do bonus miles afterwards that I often ran at a 9:30-10:30 pace. I decided that if I woke up feeling strong, I'd go all in and aim for the fastest pace plan and the 2:00:00 goal.

And here I'm in the happy-fun-fun first 5 miles

I woke up feeling great but still unsure about that 9:15 pace. I decided it didn't matter what happened out there. This is not an "A" race for me and I'm not a runner.Freeing myself up from those expectations, I didn't have to care if I blew up at mile 10 or wound up ascending my pace/mile. After an easy warm up, I got in my corral and waited for the start. Surf City is a really, really big race. Over 20,000 people packed onto Pacific Coast Highway to run either the half marathon or the full (which fortunately starts earlier). I took off and began my run hoping to clear away from the crowds as soon as possible. With 20,000 people, there's no real breaking away from the crowd. The crowds are everywhere. It took a bit more navigating around people than I would have liked to have wasted time doing, but I was committed to my pace.

A little more serious now...

The first 5 miles went fantastic. I was having to hold myself back and even cruised up the one uphill section. I wasn't sure when I'd need my E-gel that I brought with me, but I usually can spot the cues from my body when I need to take it so I wasn't worried. Until I I began to slow down. I felt like I was running just as fast, and I was going downhill, but no matter what I did, my pace kept ticking up and up and up. So much so that I figured my Garmin was just having an issue, but it stayed at 10:07 and I realized it wasn't being flaky, I was actually slowing down. I realized too late that due to the huge increase in pace, my body switched over to burning glycogen much sooner than usual and I needed food NOW (well, actually half a mile before this). Fortunately Adam was riding by at the same time on his BMX (taking pics) and I snagged his water to get my gel down with. Not surprisingly, my pace went back to normal!

Bringing it home!

I never got back to that awesome feeling I had for the first 5 miles. I knew I was on limited time until my sugar was depleted again, and I had no real plan. The food they had on the course (shot blocks) don't tend to sit really well with me so I was going to have to just do what I could with what I had. I was starting to lose focus when Tammy Lynn came up behind me and said some really words of encouragement. I was so happy to see her and felt renewed. I pulled up every trick in my head to get myself back on track for 2 hours. It was getting hot, I was getting a bit cranky with the crowds and I just wanted to get it done. The next five miles were a push. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed. I mentally tied myself to people in front of me and used them to pull me forward. I played games with my cadence. I counted. I set up mini-races to get ahead of certain people. I dug deep and had very little left. I took what I had and pushed it into the last mile and crossed the finish line in 2:01:11. That's good enough for me!

I'm really pleased with my time. Not too shabby for a 31 year old ex-smoker who only started seriously trying to run a few years ago! It's reaching goals like these that make me realize that anything is truly possible and it's experiences like this that make me understand how crucial the right people being around you are to your success. I'm so fortunate to have a core group of people who not only support and encourage me, but believe I can do things that I'm not even sure of. I spent most of my life trying to do things on my own and I got pretty far. From this side of the fence, I can tell you, life is so much easier when you have a reliable set of friends to help you on your way to your dreams.

Surf City Half Marathon 2012 results

Month 1

2012-01-23T16:19:00.000-08:00

January is almost over...it's been busy to say the least. I've had double the work these days and the same amount of time (and pay), which has been infringing on my Bite Me Kitchen website and this blog! Not to mention that I still need to wrap up a handout I have regarding metabolic efficiency to my teammates and athletes that attended a talk at the coach's house. I'd rather be too busy, than not busy enough. I won't take that for granted! My sanity has resided in training.

As you can see above, my month has consisted of training, laundry, a messy/crazy post ride/run house, beautiful sunrises, sunsets, sweat and compression. This month, I should hit a new record - I'll have run 100 miles in January. Total for the month, I'll have covered well over 700 miles (including bike, swim and run) and I'm only starting this year. 100 miles sounds like a lot until you think about one of my (eventual) goals is to run a 100 mile race. In a matter of days. Straight.

With training has come renewed joy! Nothing makes me happier than the rhythm of routine, the ritual of clarifying the mind and purifying the body through extensive effort, and the camaraderie of friends we train with. Winter is perfect training weather, and I welcome the cold, crisp air and even appreciate the rain. Sure, it's cold. Sure, it's wet. But, at least I can train and I can run and I can get outside. It could be worse - it could be icy or snowing. Or I couldn't have a bike trainer. Or it could be 120' out. Or I could have no legs. See? It could always be worse. It can always be a beautiful day. It's a matter of attitude.

With training starting up again, the "questions" always becomes more pronounced. The questions from other people as to Why on earth are you training like this? It's not like you're a pro! Won't that much exercise hurt you? Won't running in the rain make you sick? Even though I've been doing this for almost 2 years now, the questions always strike me as odd. I mean, I get it... to normal people my training regimen seems nutty. But these are people who know me, and know that I don't do things without reason. Yet, again and again, they ask. Concerned, uncertain, confused, intrigued, they ask WHY. And I always feel like it's a hidden secret I cannot possibly convey. How can I explain my secret to happiness to people who are just seeing "exercise" and "fitness"? How can I give them all those sunrises and sunsets and high-fives to strangers and a zen-like mindset, and rolling hills bathed in sunshine and salt water on my skin and wrap it all up in a way they will understand? I want to ask them, Why don't you work out regularly? Why do you smoke? Why do you eat junk? Why do you drink alcohol daily? Why do you not get enough sleep? What is it about those daily habits that makes you love them so much?

I think people treat anything that requires discipline, commitment and training as something reserved for professionals. That provides an excuse for them to not partake because it excludes them. Oh, not me! I'm 40! Not me, I'm too short! Not me, I've got a job! Not me, I'm too fat, too skinny, too young, too poor, too busy, etc... The interesting thing is, there are many sponsored athletes and pros that started just like me and grew into their new roles whether they are full time athletes or continue to work full time, that have families and kids and hobbies and interests and their own companies and are 30 and 40 and 50 and older. There are all kinds of competitive athletes of all kinds in all walks of life at all ages. I don't have any goals to become a professional, but I really do enjoy training and I like to improve. No one likes doing things they aren't good at. In order to like those things, you must improve. In order to improve, you must do. Before you know it, you're decent at it and having a good time!

There is a growing disconnect between myself and the society I'm in. What I do is not extraordinary. It is simply the result of time, effort, work and dedication. Anyone can do anything, it just requires effort. All of us have the tools we need to succeed, grow, and change. Simply getting a late start at something in life does not mean that it's impossible or unattainable or not worth trying. There is always a way to do something if you truly want to. More so, I feel like a basic principle of mine is strengthening into a passion. I've spent a lot of time thinking on long runs and during swims and rides. Thinking about the concept of "use it or lose it" and how it applies to everything you've been given in life. My body and mind were given to me for a limited and undefined amount of time. How ungrateful would I be to let them sit and decay or to poison them with bad food and toxins? In this world, your body, your mind and your free will are the only things you 100% own. Why would you trash what is so precious? Why wouldn't you use what you have?

And that is something I will never understand. I am not the person who would buy things and store them away like a patient squirrel awaiting just the right time. I wouldn't buy expensive things and not use them out of fear that they'd show signs of use. I'd not close doors of opportunity out of worry that I might fail. I wouldn't save my time up for a future that may or may not arrive. Every single day, my body is aging. My mind is developing in different ways. Sometimes I grow stronger, faster, sometimes a little more brittle and slow. Storing my energy and saving my time does nothing for me should death come knocking tomorrow. What I lose today I can never regain. I want to use every single second of my life, of each day, and I want to use every bit of feasible energy, every capacity for thought, every ability to touch the lives of others and to shape my own, every movement and burst of speed, every effort to make my body and mind engage and interact with my world to the fullest. To do so brings me great, unmeasured joy. It makes me feel alive in every particle of my being. It makes me appreciate the honor of being here and now. And, simply, it makes me feel good.

2012!

2012-01-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

New Years Day ride with Team FC [santiago canyon]

I thought about posting a 2011 recap, but I feel like I did that at the end of the season last year. 2011 seems so long ago already! While there's lots of talk about resolutions for 2012, I'm talking about actual plans. I've signed up for 2 Half Marathons, 5 Half Ironmans and 1 Full Ironman. That's putting your money where your mouth is. I spent many years making lists of goals. The same goals, by in large, and they never budged. Sure...I'd exercise more for a little while. I'd cut back on the cigarettes and the wine. I'd save a little money. Then, I'd blow it all. I'd eat more than I lost, spend more than I had and be right back in the same cycle I'd been accustomed to. Feeling frustrated with myself, I'd make a list of goals. Again.

Once I started triathlon, things changed. Signing up, paying for and telling everyone that I was going to do a triathlon put my toes to the fire a bit. I started adhering to my goals a bit more. It paid off. I was signed up for the Escape From Alcatraz triathlon (which someone else paid for) so I had to get my shit together and not disappoint people (or myself). Somewhere in there, I stopped making goals and just starting doing things.

You'll never lose weight if you don't consistently exercise and make better food choices. You'll never eventually quit smoking by "cutting back". You'll never save money if you're still spending. All of those things you want, the goals and the dreams will never walk themselves to your front door. You have to be willing to go out and get them. Even now, there's things I would like to see change in my life and I know there's only one person in my way. Me. It's nice to be alive. I feel free, grateful, powerful and calm.

So, how am I going to be accomplishing the things I've set out for this year? I had to recruit some outside assistance. I have a coach! Hooray! We met Joby last year through sheer luck. While looking for a running coach to do some running analysis for us, I hit up my old friend Google and searched for running coaches in Orange County. I sent out a few inquiries and sat back. I knew what kind of coach I was looking for and I felt confident that I'd pick the right person. I'm a wee bit type A, so I appreciate people who are friendly but also punctual and prepared. Joby responded to me promptly and asked me a number of questions that showed me he knew what he was talking about and was interested in more than our money. He was obviously interested in seeing how we ran. After our running analysis, Joby invited us to join him and his team on a ride and we continued to join them throughout the summer occasionally.

Stunning sunset/bird swarm last night

We liked Joby right off the bat, and every person we met who was on his team being coached by him. He's a magnet for awesome people, and we somehow gained a group of training partners that we are getting to know more and more. It was easy to see by Joby's results and those of his coached athletes that he's a skilled athlete AND coach. It was without question that he would be who would coach us as we headed into our next big year. For those of you not familiar with triathlon coaching, there are a few types. There are a lot of training plans around (free and paid) for specific distances or races - they are generic and are kind of one size fits all. Then there is personal coaching (our option for 2012) in which our coach works directly with us to discuss and analyze our specific goals, strengths and areas for improvement.

This has been Week #1 of training and so far, so good! I like having someone to be accountable to and to give me a path to follow. I have complete faith that if I follow my plan, I'll get across those finish lines in good time! The first week back has been positive and I feel strong. I spent the off-season working on my running and my diet is pretty clean, so there's no huge switch into training mode. Adam and I both really like the structure and exertion of training, and we motivate each other to get up, get out and attack the day. I feel very in the moment every day and am savoring the sweet rewards of training - watching the sunrise, running as the sunsets, quiet mornings in the pool, and the zen-like mindset that comes from six days a week of arduous training.

Back on the trainer YEEEOOOOW!

Our house has once again become a triathlon training facility / cat zoo (we have four) / crazy restaurant (The BMK) and I love it. There's bike shoes, running shoes, sweaty stuff, helmets and electronics littered across the house. It's Friday and things are at critical mass after the first week. The bike trainer has made it's way back out into the living room and we're figuring out where the second bike rack will go once new bikes are acquired. Every single day I feel grateful for my life, for being able to completely surrender to life and for being able to feel like I'm also somehow in control. I wake up happy and I lay down at night feeling fulfilled and the things I do want in my life feel completely feasible and attainable. That, my readers, is a beautiful feeling! Have a great weekend :)

Recap Christmas Holiday

2011-12-29T10:44:00.000-08:00

The end of the year is always a hectic time for me. While most people take time off or slow down for the holidays, I ramp up my hours at work. On a good note, that means a few extra hours of pay and I'm lucky to have a job in an economy where so many people are struggling to get by. My workouts have been on the rocks a bit this week, but I'm pleased to still have gotten a handful of them in.

Last week I had a beautiful hilly run on the dirt trails by the Back Bay. It was a windy day and the trails were empty. I caught this sunset on my second loop.

California Christmas

I managed to get on my bike for the first time since the Newport Beach Triathlon. In the end of October. For a time trial. Whoa it's been awhile! Nothing like a few months off cycling to remind you how different running muscles are from cycling muscles. Surprise! Adam led me out on SART and I chased him as fast as I could for 20 minutes. I'm not gonna lie, it was kind of sad how slow I was. However, cycling comes back quickly for me, so I'm not too worried. I was able to get my heart rate pretty high (for me) and that's what my coach needed so I feel pretty good about it.

Giant Pelican

Christmas was nice! We spent Christmas Eve with my family post-bike ride and had a wonderful brunch in the warm CA sunshine. Christmas Day we woke up and while I went running, Adam headed out on another bike ride. I felt really good and managed to bang out 13.1 miles for fun. I'm looking forward to officially starting our training on the 1st with Team FC! And not working quite as hard! Ok, back to work =)

...and it was in the mid-70s!

Weekend Run Recap

2011-12-19T16:04:00.000-08:00

Went on a 2hr 20minute run on Saturday. Here's what I saw! So many things are easy to miss when you're rushing about in a car...by foot - the world is fantastic. Enjoy! (Click on each image to enlarge.)

Someone's giant, sweet bunny stoked on all the good eats!

Threatening clouds

One of my favorite views

From Castaways Park

Tons of prickly pear in bloom!

From Castaways Park out the harbor to the Pacific

Kayaks at Southwind

Yours truly!

Still Running!

2011-12-07T18:00:00.000-08:00

Not too shabby for a Monday!

Monday I left work a little early and headed out on the Mountains to Sea Trail from Newport Beach towards Irvine. It's been crazy windy and cold here lately, so I intentionally set off into the wind knowing that my way back would be easier. The sun sets at 5pm sharp, so I packed my Nathan hydration pack with water, arm warmers, headlamp, 2 E-Gels and a change of lenses in case it was windy and I needed my clear lenses in the dark. Seems like a bit of crap to carry with, but I'm a huge fan of being comfortable, particularly when I'm running or riding for an extended period of time. Simply put, the more comfortable I am, the more I can just focus on the task at hand. There are only 2 spots to get water along this section of the trail and I find it easier to just carry my own - no stopping and no fussing.

Under the 405 Fwy

Besides being out of work early (which is always sweet), it was absolutely beautiful out. Hardly anyone on the trail, bright blue skies, cooling winds, and I was running out with the sun at my back keeping my body temperature just right. The last outside run I did last week sucked so completely that I was in dire need of redemption. Granted it was a tempo run INTO the wind and said wind happened to be blowing around 20mph making my run a total nightmare. I pushed hard. I gave my all. And the wind handed me my ass, patted me on the head and sent me back home pouting. I was in luck on Monday, though, my long run went beautifully!

Running with the wind!

I've been consistently putting in the zone 1-2 runs which at first are completely boring. Shuffle, shuffle, jog, look at watch, heart rate too high, shuffle, etc... Yet, after a month, I've come to really enjoy them. Compared to the hill repeats, the tempo runs and the mile repeats, slow long runs are downright fun. I can actually enjoy the trip! I'm also super lucky to have this trail to run on. Some dirt, some asphalt, barely any concrete and no cars. I almost made it to my mom's house on foot - which I was pretty stoked about! I've been doing really well on the active recovery front as well - spending my lunch time foam rolling, using the TP Therapy stuff and working on some of my problem areas (tight calves which cause foot pain, tight hips which cause everything pain). My body has been recovering quickly and I am pretty much pain-free. The only thing that starts to bug is the pads of my feet (balls and toe pads) after about 90 minutes. Some new shoes coming tomorrow should help with that!

I have a touch of a cold so I'm resting for a few days, but it's worth it if I am better for the weekend! Fortunately my immune system is pretty healthy, so it can fight off these winter cooties without it being too unbearable.

Just a quick few miles till home!

Stunning sunset over the bay

Reflections on 2011

2011-11-22T15:47:00.001-08:00

“From a little spark may burst a flame.”~ Dante Alighieri

I sit here two days after our trip to Ironman Arizona (volunteering, not racing) and I'm overwhelmed with the sheer force, strength and resilience of the over 2,500 athletes that competed on Sunday. As someone who (as of Monday) stepped up to the task of taking on the full Ironman distance (2.4 mi swim, 112 mi bike and 26.2 mi run) I realize the power of that choice. Sunday I watched friends, teammates, and strangers race together, but very much alone at the same time. Some people's stories I knew firsthand - the whys and hows, the reason behind them, the banners they carried mentally to push them onward. Thousands of individuals - made up of the same flesh, bone and blood as everyone else, yet differing in their desire to push themselves beyond their limits and into the unknown. I felt as though I was looking at a sea of stars. Each person with their own story, their own reason, drive, year of arduous training. For those of you that I know who raced, for friends new and old, I cannot capture my joy for you in words. Each of you a tiny spark, bursting into flames, brightening the world with your courage. I feel lucky to count so many stars in my sky.

Tomorrow I turn 31. This year has been full of so much growth that I hardly recognize who I was last November. I was still trying. Trying to be healthy, trying to be calm, trying to be focused, trying to exercise. Despite all of my trying, my body was breaking down inside. After an immensely rich and delicious dinner on my birthday with my girlfriends (and copious amounts of wine), I wound up extremely sick. Sure, I had way too much to drink, but it wasn't just the alcohol - the food was making me sick as well. I started the year with a round of lab tests and doctor visits and frustration at the ineptitude of the medical world. I began to wean the problems from my diet by removing alcohol, fried foods, unhealthy fats, dairy, and eventually meat. Since I cut out the alcohol (with the exception of a few rare instances this year), I also cut out the cigarettes I was only "socially" smoking. It's pretty easy to only smoke when you drink when you drink daily. I found myself with only one choice - to be healthy once and for all. I was signed up for Escape From Alcatraz and I couldn't let me generous race sponsors down. Since I was used to letting myself down, it took being accountable to someone else to make it over the hurdle.

I grew up thinking it was absolutely normal to drink daily. Every single day, happy or sad, busy or bored, sick or healthy - a few glasses of wine was always the perfect way to unwind. Yet, a few glasses a night usually became a bottle of wine a night. And bad decisions became easier to make. And I never woke up to work out early, nor opted for healthy food choices. I felt like I couldn't get a grasp on what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, and felt frustrated at my life. I was always on a cycle of extreme moods - volatile one moment, happy the next. Every morning I woke up tired, a little full of regret, and craving a cup of coffee, some satisfying food and maybe even a cigarette.

I threw myself into training in the beginning of the year and eventually, I started to feel really good. My life became calm, easy, decisions were clear, I could see where I was going and began to feel in control of my destiny. I woke up each morning feeling clean, pure, vibrant and alive. I was hungry for life, laughter and to expend my excessive energy resources by running with Adam or riding bikes with friends. I began to channel the energy I tried to dull for decades. I spent years of my life trying to either bring myself up or take myself down in an effort to catch up with my wildly fluctuating energy. I wasted a lot of time trying to corral a rushing river instead of learning how to swim. In the end, I realized that it wasn't more of something I needed, it was less. I needed less food, less toxins, less drama, less excitement, less bullshit, less gossip, less arguments, less processed food, less sugar, less fat, and less alcohol. Only with a clear head did I begin to understand the depth and width of my dependence on external things to make me happy. Somewhere inside me, a change began to occur. A new voice clean and strong, asking to be cared for better. As I listened to my new voice, doing the best thing for myself became easy. Clean, healthy, easy to use food. Solid, unbroken rest. Fresh air, movement of my limbs and enough exercise to satiate the wildness in me. Everything became quite clear - no regrets, confusion, apologies, or misinterpretations.

I always wanted to do great things. To achieve the impossible and to push my limits. Yet, I always pushed that off to another day, some day, not today. By accepting responsibility for my own life and keeping my body and mind healthy, I was granted the power to do the impossible. I feel now as if there is nothing that can stand in my path. No journey too long, no goal out of my reach - everything is possible with time and effort. It's quite an unusual feeling and I'm just beginning to believe it.

I no longer view exercise as a chore - it's a privilege. It's also the cheapest way to get high and the only side effects are feeling good and a longer life. I am building my character each time I do an ocean swim and conquer my fear of open water and sharks. I learn how to focus with every hill repeat. I learn to not give up when doing mile repeats at tempo pace. I learn patience in my long runs. I learn to see the beauty, the good, the whole and the right in life. I surround myself with people who believe they can do anything and who are healthy, I wake with the sunrise feeling grateful and I go to sleep each night feeling like I did the best I could for the day. Tomorrow I will celebrate the beginning of another year on Earth. I will celebrate having the opportunity to experience life the best I can and to improve the experiences of others. I am grateful for the support of friends new and old, family and most importantly, Adam. I am also grateful for the incidences and individuals who provided me with a challenge, and gave me the time and place to commit to my principles and exercise the fibers of my new self so that I became stronger.

Off Season Adventures

2011-11-17T14:25:00.001-08:00

Ahhhh off-season! The time of year to sleep in, stay off the bike, skip chilly a.m. pool workouts and enjoy life. Oh, and learn how to run. My goal for off-season this year was to work on my run, and I have been putting in the work. In the past few weeks, I've run a lot - hill repeats, long slow days, easy runs, mile repeats, and even a 10 mile race in Huntington Beach (in the pouring rain)!

Last weekend I accomplished something that's been on my list for quite some time - to run around the Back Bay from our house. The fun part about this run is that there is no shortcut. Don't feel good? Don't want to run anymore? Tough %$&#! There's only one way home and it's around the whole thing. The total mileage from door to door is about 11 miles. It's a beautiful run that took me from our house to Castaways Park overlooking the harbor, then to Pacific Coast Highway and finally in around the bay on Back Bay Drive.

This curvy but flat section of the Bay is one of my favorite places. It's relatively quiet, it's flat, and it takes you through some stunning vistas. Once you get to a certain point on Back Bay Drive you can see the other side of the Bay where you hit the 9 mile mark. You can also see Jamboree and how far away it is and you know that between you and Jamboree is a steep little climb up to Eastbluff. It felt great to come up that hill and head on across Jamboree! Absolutely gorgeous post-rainy day views from every side of the bay!

Then there's been the early nights - it's been getting dark here around 5pm which is crushing my runs! I don't mind running when it's dim, but the other night it was pitch black even with my headlamp on. I'm going to switch the runs to the a.m! My paces are improving and I feel healthy overall. I'm hoping to continue chipping away at my running until I'm satisfied and ready for next year.

Lastly, we're heading to Arizona tomorrow for Ironman Arizona! We're volunteering at the race (run aid station #2) and we will be registering to race 2012 on Monday. I realize this concept is befuddling for non-triathletes who look at me and question our sanity that we're driving to Arizona to volunteer and pay for our own trip/travel expenses only so that we can pay money to register for an IRONMAN. Yes, yes, I realize this is a little odd for outsiders. But, for those of us that are triathletes, this makes perfect sense.

The Iron distance (2.4 mi swim, 112 mi bike and 26.2 mi run) is an impressive feat of physical, mental and emotional strength and no one person finishes (or starts) that race alone. That distance is traversed by a single person, with the aid, support, assistance and encouragement of many. At every race, the volunteers have made a tremendous difference in my overall experience and time. Seeing volunteers I know (like at Orangeman) was like having your personal on-course cheerleaders where often, there were no spectators. I feel that by volunteering, we are giving back to the community/sport that has given us so much. There's also quite a handful of Team FC athletes (and our coach Joby) who are racing on Sunday, so it will be great to be out in AZ supporting the team, being inspired and watching our friends and teammates succeed.

Lastly, we will register. Volunteers get priority registration after current IMAZ athletes and before it opens up online. My biggest and most amazing sponsor is paying for my race entry fee and I'm beside myself with gratitude! I am so excited about what next year holds for me on so many levels. With the year wrapping up, I continue to feel grateful and humbled by the amount of positivity, love, friendship, and possibility that exist in my life.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible"~Walt Disney

Year Summary

2011-10-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

"The journey is the reward." - Chinese proverb

When I started triathlon, I thought that race day was going to unleash some pure magic in me. I envisioned that crossing the finish line would fundamentally change me in some way or push me forward to some new personal level. I crossed the finish line and felt...tired, good, happy, but nothing major shifted. Yet, who I was had changed... it had just done so over months of training. This years journey has taken me from thinking I might be able to finish the Olympic distance Escape From Alcatraz (although I had to conquer my overwhelming fear of sharks and the ocean) to finishing my first Half Iron distance race, Orangeman and finishing 5th in my age group at the Newport Beach Tri (sprint) this past weekend. Every step along the way, every hour training, every pedal stroke, every torturous ascent of Glendora Mountain Road, every swim...it's all been my reward. This lifestyle keeps me happy, every single day. I spend my time outdoors, with the love of my life and a handful of good friends and training partners doing things that bring me joy. I still laugh when I think how all of this started on a whim, and now it's shaped my life in a new direction and given me the courage, confidence and strength to believe that anything is possible for me.

This year I began with a big goal in sight - to complete the Escape From Alcatraz triathlon. Terrified of sharks, terrified of the ocean, and terrified of the seeming insanity that would be required to even deal with this race, I plunged into working on my swim with a vengeance. My swim has developed into something manageable, and even pretty decent in the pool. My open water swim still needs work, as I tend to have difficulty sighting (only on race day) and tend to lack mental focus in the ocean until a 1/4 mile into the swim. A huge chunk of the development in my swim is mental. At the beginning of this year, open water swims were beginning to have a pattern of me getting in the water, swimming for 50 feet, then stopping, trying to calm down, swimming 50 feet, stopping, etc.. until I'd finally march out of the water scared out of my mind and mad at myself for being such a wuss. I cruised through the Alcatraz swim, and my confidence was buoyed. A few months later, I had a bit of a rough experience at CDM in which I had something akin to a panic attack, that I think was more due to ingesting half of the ocean's water along with my wetsuit not being on right. I felt like I couldn't breathe, freaked out and backstroked to shore. I sat on the shore thinking I was fooling myself with my big dreams of swimming in the ocean. A few weeks later, with a little talking-to by Adam, I was back in the water and proved to myself that I can swim. Swimming has certainly been a journey.

My cycling has come a long way. While I've always done alright on the flats, long hills really kicked my ass in the earlier part of the year. After we signed up for Orangeman, I dedicated my summer to riding Glendora Mountain Road. It took me 2 failed attempts to finally get up and over the damn thing, but I did it and it wasn't that bad after all. Along with hilly rides, losing some weight and a awesome bike fit, my average mph increased from 16ish to 19.5mph. I'm finally seeing numbers in the 20-23 mph range and I'm liking it a lot! My pedal stroke is a nightmare and I know I'm not pedaling efficiently, but hopefully a Computrainer will beat that out of me.

Running. Ah running. I have these delusions that one day I'll be some crazy endurance runner. There's something warped in my head that read an article years ago on this Ultra-runner chick and thought, "Yeah, that looks neat self! We should do that!" It's lain dormant through years of damage and...uh...not running. But, it's still there, bopping around my head and it deludes me into making me think I can run. I'm improving. Which is awesome, because I've spent thirty years not able to get below a certain 5K speed and I'm finally chipping away at it. I'm dedicating the winter to actually building mileage up right and avoiding injury by emphasizing a strength program that's running focused and a stretching habit. The only way to get better is to work, and I am ready to do work! The faster I am, the less time I have to spend out there grinding out the miles at the tail end of my triathlons next year =)

I can think of nothing more fitting for this year than the quote I started this post with. It's too easy to focus so far ahead on your goal(s) that you lose sight of the beauty, transformation and magic of right now. I think this concept only really hit home while I was struggling to bang out the half-marathon portion of Orangeman. I was feeling ornery and I thought, "I've had training days better than today!" and it struck me. Hey, wait a minute, here I was doing what I have been working on for so long, and it...really...isn't as awesome as some non-special days I've had during the year. It made me realize that I need to be here, now and to really appreciate the good days and to not let the more difficult days bother me too much. When you're on the right path, doing the right thing, at the right time, with the right person/people, every day is all the reward I need!

Newport Beach Triathlon

2011-10-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

What a great end to the 2012 triathlon season! We decided to close out the year with a really local sprint race, Kring + Chung Newport Beach Triathlon at the Back Bay. This is where we ride and run, and it's a fast, fun course. We rode our bikes to the race early Sunday a.m. and despite a bit of initial lethargy, we got our wetsuits on and headed down to the water's edge. It's billed as an open water swim, which is kind of funny, since it's more like a briny, sort of dirty lake. We did some warm-up laps and gathered on the edge of the water, waiting for our waves to go off.

The Swim (.5mi ~ est. 16:00): I had a little issue with my goggles. I didn't know that our fancy schmancy goggles had an anti-fog coating on the lenses. I was taking preventative anti-fogging measures on Saturday by putting anti-fog drops in our goggles and buffing them clean. I was dismayed to see that they just weren't getting clean! Buff, buff, buff....hm...blurry. Adam happened to catch me in the act and informed me that I was buffing and de-fogging the anti-fog coating off the goggles. Whoops. Needless to say, I couldn't see a damn thing on my swim and stopped four times to clear them out. I did finally hit a good stride about half way through, but since we had a little run to transition I don't really know what my time was.

The Bike (15mi ~ 46:26, avg 19.4mph): I love riding my bike. I don't really care where or for how long! This section of the Back Bay is fast and flat with the exception of a steep, short climb and little grade up Eastbluff. I was stoked to not see too many women and I hammered my way around the bay. After Orangeman's Stonehill climb, Eastbluff was cake. I saw Adam twice and felt like I was back on track with my race after my mediocre swim. I played leap frog with a strong female rider and another guy and came in to transition hauling ass. Maybe next year I'll check out some of those fancy flying mounts/dismounts, but for now coming to a complete stop and dismounting has kept the asphalt out of my skin.

The Run (3mi ~ 25:08, 8:23/mi): I started the run and knew my heart rate was insanely high thanks to my Garmin buzzing away. It was definitely into a zone I didn't know my heart went! I felt okay though, so I settled into a quick pace and once I knew I wasn't going to keel over, I kept pushing as much as I could. The run is a blast. Short, sweet with only one slow hill to the turn around. After that hill, I did what I could to hustle. I felt like I ran out of gas about 1/4 mi from the finish, which was a little disappointing, but I went out hard on the bike and on the run, so...sometimes that happens. I came through the finish chute and felt damn good. I came in 5th in my AG, and while I secretly wanted to come in 3rd, the other girls were just a little faster!

It was a really fun race and it's always nice to ride from home. Adam took 1st for his AG!!!!! So proud of my champ! I cannot wait to see what this winter's run training + next years coaching does for our races. This was a great way to end the season and I'm stoked to have PR'd on the bike (for that course) and the run is pretty close to my Pac Coast PR of 8:20/mi. I never thought it'd be feasible to be in the 8 minute range, so I'm really looking forward to where I can take my 5K pace. Half marathon pace is a different story, but I'm working on it!

Working on the Weakness

2011-10-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

Sunset Back Bay

The two weeks after the Orangeman Half Distance (70.3) triathlon consisted of my body telling me it needed a break. I came down with the cold I'd be fighting off in the week before the race, and it was just bad enough to keep me from exercising. Sometimes, your body knows what's best. Mentally and physically, we both needed some time to sleep in, rest and think about where we are going from here. Orangeman highlighted the areas that I desperately need to focus on - my lack of strength (particularly in my core and my hips) and my weak run. All things can change with enough effort and time, so I am setting my sights on working on my half marathon run and incorporating three days of strength training into my routine.
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Orangeman 71.4 - Race Recap

2011-09-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

Finished! Orangeman 71.3

I'm still patching together the events of Sunday's epic (and brutal) race at the Orangeman half distance triathlon. The race was supposed to be a half-Iron distance of 1.2mi swim, 56mi bike and 13.1mi run. It ended up having a mile added to the run that was already an ass-kicker. First I'd like to say how completely outstanding the race itself was. The organization was top notch, the pre-race talk was informative, safety was made a priority, there were TONS of staff, volunteers and support, the aid stations were plentiful and well stocked, and the whole race went on beautifully. I heard a few doubts about the race initially, as people weren't sure if they'd get the permit to shut down Ortega Highway or if it would be well-organized as a first year tri, and I can say that this race gets an A+! If you missed it this year, make it next year and sign up early as it will sell out! Be informed, however, that a lot of people said this race was harder than any other half-ironman (including Wildflower and Silverman) and harder than some full Ironmans.

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Race Day Checklist

2011-09-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

Seems like every triathlete I know is racing this weekend! Between the inaugural Orangeman 70.3 distance race and the LA Tri this weekend there's a lot of buzz about this Sunday. If you're anything like me, you've got a mega case of Race Brain.
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Smith Pivlock V90 Max Sunglasses

2011-09-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

If you're like me and you have super-sensitive eyes, you know how important eye coverage can be! Wind on my bike ride? Cold morning air? Dry summer heat? Dust? Rocks? Sun? All of the above?!

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9/11/11 - Pacific Coast Tri Race Recap

2011-09-14T15:50:00.000-07:00

My summer was consumed by Orangeman 70.3 training so much that the Pacific Coast sprint was upon me before I knew it. I was looking forward to this race as it marks my "triathlon birthday" and I knew I would see and feel a big change from a year ago when I stepped into my first triathlon. Mostly, I wanted to use this triathlon as a dress rehearsal for Orangeman. I set some basic goals for myself that I felt were attainable without pushing myself too far before my "A" race.

I always find that making the day before the race nice and smooth is a great precursor to a good race. We woke up early to thunderstorms, took care of all the pre-race expo, bike checks, gear checks, packing and getting food prepared. We drew up a quick pre-dawn checklist and set everything up for the morning so all we had to do was wake up, have tea, eat breakfast, and head out on our bikes to the race. The night before Adam had left me a "Happy 1st Tri Birthday" card in my transition bag that I opened and kept with my stuff. Too cute!

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365 Days

2011-09-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

"Sow a thought and you reap an act;

Sow an act and you reap a habit;

Sow a habit and you reap a character;

Sow a character and you reap a destiny."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A year ago, I raced the Pacific Coast Triathlon, a sprint distance course (.5 mi swim, 12 mi ride, 3 mi run) at Crystal Cove, CA. It would be the culmination of 5 months of training, learning and conquering my fears. I was terrified of the ocean, my open water swims had vacillated between sucking completely and sucking partially. I was coming from a background of no formal run, swim or bike training. I had just bought a new road bike and was extremely nervous about the whole clip-in/clip-out business. I was never a very fast runner, and felt bogged down by the extra weight I was carrying. I was still trying to balance my new active life with my old party life and finding it difficult to be consistent in training. When I got to the race, I felt like the fat kid in gym class, surrounded by people who knew what they were doing. I racked my bike and nervously said hi to the girls who were in my age group. The girl next to me had one leg. There were women in there 60's and 70's. There were heavy people, skinny people, and those in between. Many were there for their first time. Then there were girls who were racing, with their fancy bikes and matching kits and confidence. I tried my best to calm down and be content with who I am and what I was capable of.
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Ad Astra (To The Stars)

2011-08-31T14:12:00.000-07:00

The above phrase caught my eye while reading Jordan Rapp's speech from the Ironman Canada awards banquet on Slowtwitch. It has it's roots in classical Latin literature and translated, roughly means, "It is not an easy road from earth to the stars". I find myself returning to this phrase over and over again and it feels right in terms of describing my own journey.

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75 Ways to Stay Unhappy

2011-08-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

not my image

I found this page tucked in a pile of my work stuff and though it merited a re-post. It was circulating on the internet awhile back, but whether you've seen it before or not, it's a great list to have handy.

75 Ways To Stay Unhappy Forever

It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It’s what you think about.

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Weekend Recap (9/27-9/28)

2011-08-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

This weekend was everything a weekend should be - sunshine, blue skies, excellent training sessions and time spent with friends, new and old. Saturday we planned on riding down PCH to San Onofre, but the sun was baking the ground from the moment it rose and the roads were swarmed with everyone trying to get their workout in first thing in the morning. After we came up behind another group of dilly-dallyers who were riding in the middle of the lane at recreational pace, we decided to change the ride and headed up Newport Coast Drive.

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Weekend Recap (8/20-8/21)

2011-08-23T16:29:00.000-07:00

32 days till Orangeman! To be honest, I'm still feeling a little nervous about my first Half Ironman distance triathlon. I've done the distances - 1.2mi swim, 56mi bike, and a 13.1 run. It's just a matter of putting them together. We've been training on a hill twice as steep and my running has felt more and more comfortable. I'm keeping a steady pace on the first half and negative splitting the last half for an time I'm okay with. I know on race day there's a million factors, but one of the positive race day only factors is the excitement and adrenaline that come with racing!

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Weekend Recap (8/13-8/14): Up + Down

2011-08-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

This week has been so busy that I've hardly had time to jot down my reflections on what was a pretty big weekend for me. Work, always getting in the way of fun! However, since it affords my triathlon habit, I'll let it slide.

Saturday we met up with some folks from Team FC and headed back up GMR. After the last two failed attempts at finishing this ride, I was determined to see it through. I was able to understand the first time as my shoulder was a bit of a mess, and the second time I made some bad choices, but the third time had to end in success! Sure enough, I felt comfortable winding my way up the first nine mile climb and enjoyed the benefit of actually knowing the ride. Being aware of where climbs are and where landmarks are really makes a difference on a ride. I can gauge my energy expenditure because I know what lies ahead. I felt good at the half way point and was overjoyed to tell anyone doing the halfway sweep to the back that I wasn't the last person in our group. What?! Me? Not last!? Awesome!

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Running for Non-Runners

2011-08-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

“Every morning in Africa, a Gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a Lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest Gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a Lion or a Gazelle... when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.”

Note: I am not a doctor nor a coach, below is information that I have read, learned and applied in my efforts toward running as it relates to my body and my experiences.

If you weren’t a runner in school growing up, most likely you still view running as a form of punishment. Maybe you look at people running marathons and think, “What the hell is wrong with them!?” Maybe you think you have to be tall and lanky to run well. Maybe you think you’re too fat, too misshapen, too un-athletic, too weak or too injury prone. Besides, running is HARD, right?! I know, I come from that background! While I ran for awhile in high school (non-team related) I later found myself plagued by knee injuries, a smoking habit and extra weight that was keeping me from running freely. Now, I've run a half-marathon and am training for a Half Ironman!

The reason that running is so hard and often conjures memories of sore knees, achy backs and hurty joints is because we, as adults, mostly run incorrectly. We get up from our sedentary desk jobs in which we sit crammed into an unnatural position all day and then try to head out and get a few miles in our trusty old shoes, legs reaching out in front of us in long strides, heels hitting pavement and rolling forward to our toes to push off into another loping stride. Our eyes stare at our feet beneath us and our spine naturally hunches forward following our heads and causes our chests to collapse. A half mile in we’re out of breath, our knees ache and we’re feeling defeated again.

Watch a child run in an all out game of tag at the park. Watch one of a million YouTube videos of Olympic sprinters. Watch their light, stress-free, swift motions and notice the difference running correctly makes on your enjoyment of the sport. Looking for motivation? Why not sign up for a local 5K, 10K or half-marathon? There are tons of plans available that will keep you from overtraining while keeping you working towards a goal. Below you will find a few lessons I've learned so far, I hope that you find them helpful! More, after the break!
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Weekend Recap (8/6-8/7)

2011-08-10T15:52:00.000-07:00

Rolling hills of Santiago Canyon

What a blast this weekend was! I really needed a rewarding weekend, and I finally got one. There are so many factors in performance when training for triathlon. Sometimes I feel like I'm either tired, sore, stressed (work), fighting off a cold, babying a tender spot or just plain fat and lazy. At some point in my training, I hit plateaus and weeks go by where I feel like I'm working my ass off with no gain. Slowly, it's seemed that all my work has been adding up. I've noticed I'm picking up the pace a little on the bike and feeling more natural in my run.

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Weekend Recap (7/30-7/31)

2011-08-03T16:28:00.000-07:00

From the brilliant Oatmeal

This past weekend can be summed up by the word perseverance. We set out Saturday morning to tackle Glendora Mountain Road again. I was determined to successfully complete the climb as last time my shoulder had some serious issues that prompted me to turn at the 16 mile mark. I was certain that with my shoulder feeling 100% better, I'd have GMR in the bag. We were joined by Julia, who I met during my skydiving years at Skydive Elsinore. She's an accomplished triathlete and we were happy to have more company. I let Adam and Julia go ahead so I could work my way up the mountain at my own pace. I was only a few miles in when I began to feel disconnected. It was hot. I was sweating a lot. I was tapping into my bottles a lot. My heart rate kept spiking wildly. My muscles started to feel sluggish. I texted Adam that I was having a hard time and tried to squash my disappointment at myself and take my time. I knew it was taking me way too long and that I was going through too much water.

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Aug 6-7 Weekend Workouts

2011-08-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone!

If you'd like to join us this weekend, here's our long weekend workout plans. Adam and I start together and usually have 'check in' points where we meet up to make sure we're both okay, but we run, ride and swim at different speeds so this isn't exactly a group outing, but if it suits your schedule and style, let me know and I'll send you specific times.

Saturday AM (ideally leave at 7am):
Bike - 60miles. Average speed 17-20mph.
We're leaving from our house in Eastside Costa Mesa, but there are multiple meet up points available along the Brown Trail. Ride will go along the bike trail then off at Harvard (left) in Irvine to connect to a second bike trail (left after rail road tracks) that will take us to Portola. Left on Portola, Right on Jamboree (climb hill). Right on Santiago Canyon/Chapman and ride Santiago Canyon rollers. U-turn at Ridgeline Road and re-trace ride back to beginning (out and back).

http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/44283790/

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://sandbox.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/ca/costa-mesa/907131231405061241"TARGET=_BLANK&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;60mi from CM to Santiago and back&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://sandbox.mapmyride.com/find-ride/united-states/ca/costa-mesa"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Find more Bike Rides in Costa Mesa, California&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>

Sunday AM (swim at 8, run at 9:30?):
Swim - 1:15 hour swim. Laps around buoys at CDM until exhaustion ;)
We'll be starting at the far right side near the Jetty and swimming laps at Corona Del Mar. Free parking up top on streets or pay parking in CDM lot.

Run - 1:45min run (est. 10 mi+/-) at Back Bay. Mellow pace.
We'll be driving to Back Bay Drive just past Jamboree. The run is mostly asphalt with some dirt trail. I absolutely hate running on concrete so that's why we're driving here instead of running from CDM. We'll be running out around the bay, down Eastbluff to Jamboree then making a left to get back on the Back Bay trail. At approx. 52minutes we will turn and head back to the start (out and back course).

http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/44421200

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/44421200"TARGET=_BLANK&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;A run mapped on 08/03/2011&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/?location=Newport Beach, CA"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Find more Runs in Newport Beach, CA&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>

July 27, 2011

2011-07-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

"I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature,

which, if we unconsciously yield to it,
will direct us aright." ~ Thoreau

My sister + I sunset skydive

I came across the above quote in a book I'm reading of daily meditations (yoga based) called Meditations from the Mat (Gates and Kenison) and it struck me as noteworthy. A year and a half ago, I decided I was tired of saying that I wanted to change things in my life and doing nothing about it. My life felt stagnant and I was lacking the will to make significant choices. While most people around me were having their lives thrown into upheaval by unemployment or bad break ups or death of a loved one, I realized that while I was fortunate, I also was locked in a very cozy, safe cage. Cursed with being too comfortable, I was not able to move forward and pursue the life I desire. In a desperate attempt to rattle my own cage, I signed up for a triathlon.

Lead Climb Echo Cliffs

I wasn't quite sure what triathlon would bring me, but I was hoping it would act as a catalyst through facing fears and gaining knowledge. Roughly ten years ago, I began skydiving on a whim for much the same reason. Afraid of heights and afraid of living a boring life, I began ritually chucking my body out of planes looking for a purpose and found it for awhile. I was awed and amazed at how big the sky was, how little I was and how nothing really mattered outside of here and now. I also learned how quickly life ends and how to value this moment in all it's glory. After that, I took up rock climbing and learned to challenge my body and mind against rocks, cliffs, boulders and walls. I learned balance, how to have a plan of attack, and how to repeatedly attempt a line until I succeeded. Later, I started backpacking, hiking and traveling. I agreed to go to Peru with a friend I'd just met and see Machu Picchu and hike the Andes. Later on a trip to Costa Rica, I discovered I was at peace and relieved to be out from under certain pressures in my regular life. I was looking for that same spark - a reminder of what I was doing here, who I am to be, and where I am going. I found that my life wasn't what I wanted it to be, that I wanted to do something with meaning (not just make money) and that the world was so much bigger than the tiny world I live in.

Beautiful, beautiful Peruvian Andes

I knew that triathlon would encompass learning to swim and being in the ocean - two big fears. I also knew that it would force a change in lifestyle (bye bye Happy Hour). What I am still surprised at is how much it has changed me. I don't know what made me sign up that day, there was no forethought, no discussion, no one was talking about it. I saw it online and just signed up. At the time, people thought I was nuts (even though they are used to my spur of the moment decisions) and I kind of agreed with them. Yet, I had a feeling that it was the right choice. I think that we know most of the answers we're looking for already. We know when we're really not happy at a job (despite the pay, perks or prestige it may carry). We know when we're with someone if they're really the right person for us (even if the relationship is convenient). We know when we're being lazy and we know when we're being dishonest (to ourselves and to others). We know what behaviors are unhealthy and we know when we deserve more (out of life, from ourselves, from others...). I believe that if when our minds are calm and clear, our lives are free from drama and our bodies are healthy; we can allow our internal compass to lead us in the right direction. Life has gone from being very confusing, full of emotional conflicts, arguments, and self-destructive cycles to being exceedingly simple, peaceful and my path is clearly charted out in front of me.

Little decisions lead to big decisions. I began with a few choices that I knew were the right ones and made them. Slowly I began facing my fears - the tangible fears and the internal demons. Since then finding my course has become easier. My momentum does most of the work for me and as I rush towards bigger decisions, instead of turning away and running, I pick up speed. I'll never forget my first skydive, looking around at the vast blue sky and feeling overwhelmed and overjoyed at how big it was. That space brought me relief, breathing room, and freedom. I feel as though the farther I go on my path, I am beginning to look inward and feel that same breath-taking relief at how much space I have in me and how much room for growth, freedom, and possibility are awaiting my decisions.

Final stretch at Alcatraz

What a laugh that I thought it would be something I'd do just once. It goes to show you never know where life may lead you!

Updates & Training

2011-07-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

What you see below (click to enlarge) is my answer to getting it all done. We're two triathletes in training that work two full time jobs, cook most of our meals from scratch every day, take care of a 3 bedroom house, 4 cats (including the psychotic new kitten), with tons of dirty laundry, bikes that need maintenance, bills, write a handful of blogs and a slew of hobbies. It takes a lot of planning.

Here's a little list of other things I've learned lately:

On Sunday, I take a look at our pantry and make up the weekly menu, a grocery list and edit and arrange our workouts (with pace times for running) and post it all on the fridge. It seems crazy, but it saves us a lot of time and insures that there is no room for skipping a workout.
Each night's dinner is the next day's lunch.
All breakfasts and snacks are identical for the week (we do vary flavorings, but the recipe is the same).
Having an assortment of ice packs on hand is crucial! Ice therapy really works to reduce swelling, inflammation and decrease soreness. We like CVS Peas.
Ice baths are MUCH better in the summer than in the winter! Cracking a cold coconut water and soaking sore legs is a lifesaver after long runs.
Hot days + long rides + hard bike seat require chamois cream. I'm not saddle sore prone, but I don't like chafing or discomfort and this stuff is awesome.
This stuff is ALSO awesome and highly necessary to training.
Even two glasses of wine now will give me too much of a hangover. WTF?!
You can unlock tight calves by doing this (below) with a tennis ball and a yoga block.

We're heading into a few big weeks training wise. The weeks are relatively merciful with the exception of Thursday's interval run and Wednesday's indoor spin class. The weekends, however, are going to hurt. This weekend we're tackling Glendora Mountain Road again on Saturday and then Sunday has a 1hr 15min swim (open water) and a 1hr 30min run. The one day a week of stregnth training is really pointing out my weaknesses! My hamstrings and adductors are super weak. I'm making an effort to incoporate some single leg exercises to equally stregnthen (right and left) as well as challenge some of the stabilizing muscles that tire near the end of long runs. I wish we could do more strength training and yoga, but there simply is NOT enough time. We've been diligent about stretching, foam-rolling and getting massages (costly, but totally worth it) and it's made a huge difference in our recovery time. I also try to get more stretching and rolling in on my lunch break at work!

Weekend Recap

2011-07-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

Gorgeous!!!!

The only hard part about having a great weekend is getting back to reality (and work) on Monday morning. We woke up at 4-something o'clock on Saturday morning to meet Team FC in Glendora to ride Glendora Mountain Road. My shoulder had been bugging me since Thursday morning's swim, but I was determined to give it a try. Although I had reviewed the course map and elevation profile, you never really know how hard things will be until you try! I knew that the first 9 miles were the toughest (i.e. consistent uphill) and set forth with the goal in mind to take it easy and feel it out. The knots in my shoulder tend to cause pain when mild and numbness when severe, so I was aware that at some point I may have to bail and head back to the car.

(Taken from web) To illustrate the winding and climbing!

Being honest with myself and training within myself are two of my biggest goals at the moment. I can become frustrated that I'm not as fast as, as strong as, as thin as...someone else and all that does is waste my time and precious energy. I am fortunate to have a really fast training partner in Adam and to be meeting some new people who are incredible athletes. There's no way I can compare myself to people with years of training under their belts, and something about it doesn't feel right. By being honest with myself (Am I giving my all? Am I being weak? Am I hurt? Am I being lazy?) I can assess my performance and my accomplishments fairly. By training within myself I stop increasing my pace to injury-prone levels to "keep up" and am able to work at my goals in my own pace.

Mountain views!

This weekends workouts gave me an opportunity to focus on these two goals. I've become more comfortable riding and running at my own speed without feeling the need to beat myself up or compare myself to others. With that out of the way, I was able to enjoy the tremendous first 16 miles of climbing GMR and a beautiful ride down as well as Sunday's long run. Saturday was absolutely gorgeous. The hills, the long winding road, the cool morning air and some of the most stunning vistas around greeted me as I made my way up GMR. At some point a big deer leapt right in front of me reminding me that I was not alone as I thought I was! I was surprised at how much climbing I managed to get out of my legs. That's a hard ride! I could feel my neck/shoulder locking up and my fingers were starting to feel numb in spasms. I decided at mile 16 to turn around and head back as I wasn't sure what the rest of the climb looked like and my #1 priority is to be safe and injury-free, even if I have to cut stuff short. I decided to make sure my attitude remained positive and that it was better to get a part of a ride in than no ride at all. I enjoyed meeting more of the Team FC group and I will be back frequently to take on GMR.

Not bad for a Saturday morning ride...

Sunday we spent most of the day doing all the things we put off during the week and almost didn't make it out for our long run. Finally, around 4pm we made it out the door and headed down to the Back Bay. We opted for a change of scenery and headed out on the trail that runs alongside UCI towards Irvine. We tried out our new Nathan Hydration vests we bought for summer running and long rides and set out on the trail. It's too hot to run without hydration in the summer and a lot of the trails we frequent have no drinking fountains. The Nathan vests are super comfortable, chafe-free and can hold not only my water, but my phone and other essentials (sunscreen, etc...). I'm looking forward to using it on long rides (no need to stop!) and trail runs!! The run was hot and slow, but I felt great. Long runs are so meditative to me. I spend the whole time hovering between mindlessness and a few really positive thoughts. At some point I thought, "The only thing that separates who I am from who I once was is this [training]." At the end of the day when all sweat, sore muscles, races and results are set aside, what is left is the positive transformation that results from the effort and that alone is worth it all.

Long run ended in an ice bath and coconut water!

Trans-Catalina Trail Review

2011-07-08T15:55:00.000-07:00

From Avalon

I first read about the opening of the Trans-Catalina Trail in April of 2009. Since then, it's had a place on my to-do list. I grew up going to Camp Fox on Catalina and the island holds fond memories for me. Rocky beaches, guaranteed dolphins jumping in the waves, scrubby cactus studded land, steep hills and some unusual creatures make Catalina a special place. Adam and I made plans to backpack the 37 mile trail and set out on our "break" from triathlon training last weekend.

Huge elevation gain in the first few miles!

The first leg of our journey took us out around to the left of Avalon and straight up the surrounding hills. I was glad the trail headed up instead of a graduated climb with endless switchbacks, I'll take a steep direct route over an ambling one any day! We were pleased with our pace and felt strong. The trees provided some shade and once we were exposed, the cloud cover drifted in and out as the trail took us above and below the cloud line. We were a bit disappointed as we rounded on the junction between the TCT and the Hermit Gulch trail as it's a "shortcut" from Avalon, so tourists were ambling up the trail to the lookout that had taken us about 6.5 TCT miles (plus the 1-2 miles from Avalon to the TCT).

Note: The road, buses, dead xmas trees, playground. WTF.

My main reasons for enjoying backpacking are to be in the remote wilderness, to see things that only those who put forth the effort into hiking can see, to get away from people/city life/society and to submerse myself in nature completely. Bumping into a herd of tourists after 6.5 miles of hard hiking was lame. Yet, we shrugged our packs back on and headed upward and onward towards our lunch break spot, Haypress (at mile 9 of the TCT). The hike from Hermit's Gulch to Haypress took us Avalon-side towards the main Airport Road. The closer we got to the road, the less awesome the hike became. Eventually, we found ourselves walking pretty much alongside the main road as tour buses and travel jeeps roared by and power lines stretched out buzzing over head. Ahhh, nature! What!??!?!

As we descended the final hill into Haypress we were admittedly starving and cranky. However, nothing was to prepare us for the odd dead Christmas tree graveyard (were the Catalinians stash all their dead Christmas trees right along the trail) or the landscaped picnic area that is Haypress, complete with gigantic child's playground, and non-hikers. This is definitely the turning point of the hike. The overwhelming feeling of, "I'm hiking really hard for THIS!?" kept growing. We awkwardly made our lunch on our camp stove as kids played on swing sets and tour buses swung around the curving road with the crackle of radio static blaring out into the air. Not cool Catalina, not cool.

Boris the Bison, and a very skittish me

Boris (by Adam)

We packed up and headed back out on the trail, and headed away from the road (phew) and up many hills. I still felt a bit disgruntled as we were traipsing under power lines, telephone poles and tons of man-made junk. Fortunately we DID stumble across a bison, which alleviated the dark cloud over our heads. We literally walked right past a gigantic bison. Bison are big. Like elephant big. We arrived at a vague part of the trail and Adam forked left through some brush while I opted to go straight ahead. I turned to call Adam back to the trail and was startled to see that we had marched along like 10 feet from a snoozing bison. I yelled at Adam to come look at it and we quickly dumped our packs and got out the big camera to snap off a few shots.

Camp

Ouch

Eventually we made it to Blackjack Campground for our last stop of the day. We unloaded, set up camp and cooked dinner. As I removed my shoes I was surprised to see that I had developed a blister issue without knowing it. Since it was SO hot out, I hadn't noticed the "hot spots" on my feet. I've had a lot of issues with my feet while hiking and was bummed to feel hobbled yet again. I need even bigger shoes to accommodate the amount of swelling that occurs when I hike. It's insane. Wearing trail runners instead of hiking boots was a huge win though. My feet are used to "feeling" the ground and wearing stiff boots is pretty much the worse thing for my feet. Another size up I go, and I think I will be much happier.

We decided to assess our situation when we reached the airport the next day. We woke up to the sunrise around 6am and repacked our stuff. By the time we left a little over an hour later it was already blazing hot. I did a little duct tape magic on my feet and we set out for the airport. As we hiked down into the valley, my feet basically put an end to the hike. I could have gone further, but given that we wanted to start triathlon training in a week, it just wasn't worth it. We decided we were done with the hike. It was hot, dry, brown, and not really the "remote nature" we were after. I knew that Two Harbors certainly wasn't going to provide us with the camping atmosphere we were after and was likely to drive Adam nuts. It's usually packed with families and college kids and would probably be the last straw. As we'd originally imagined the hike it was to be our one contact with regular society (plus they have a store with cold beer)! Since the whole hike was pretty exposed to society, more society was the last thing we wanted.

Sunrise (by Adam)

I've seen some really high reviews for the hike and I'm not sure why/what made the difference. Certainly going earlier in the year would be better (cooler, greener, less crowds). Yet, for the time...I'd rather take a few extra days vacation and drive up somewhere remote and beautiful like the Sierras. It was definitely disappointing to not get the trek I'd been looking forward to in my mind. On a good note, I was really pleased with being able to finally keep up with Adam's crazy pace. All in all, we were still outside, being active and enjoying each other's company. If you're an avid and super fit hiker, but haven't done any backpacking, this trail may be a good warm-up/test to do before heading out into the wild as you will have plenty of opportunities to restock food/water which is usually not possible.

Orangeman Training: Week 1

2011-07-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

No better start to the day!

We're on the fifth day of the first week of many weeks to come of Half Ironman training. It feels good to finally be back in a routine. Not like we haven't been working out, but we've been "unstructured" and keeping in some sort of shape instead of being on a plan or pushing our efforts. Our "off time" was harder than we imagined. Our bodies (and more importantly our minds) have acclimated to a consistent level of training. We are totally dependent on the exercise-related endorphins!

Super dorky, but happy!

We went on our first outside bike ride in awhile this morning before work. We've been focusing on building power and speed in indoor spin classes twice a week in the early morning. I always thought spin was kind of silly. Why wouldn't you just go ride a bike ? Um. Well. Uh... I was wrong. It's tough! From the first class on, I've felt myself getting a lot stronger. There's no break, no traffic lights, no stopping and an element of 'keeping up the pace' I don't usually get on my solo rides. Not to mention really building the power muscles in my body for cycling! I noticed I was roughly 2mph faster today on the bike! Whoohoo! The sunrise (above) wasn't too shabby either.

Drive to pool - another great sunrise!

The morning swims have been a bit mixed - some sets I feel smooth, others like a flailing octopus. My only goal is to stick to the plan. Monday's weight lifting was a brutal reminder of how long it's been since I did any strength training. Oh hai sore muscles! Obviously I've neglected to strengthen a few things like, oh, say, hamstrings, chest muscles, abs. Details, right?! I could hardly move the next day. Lesson learned, weekly strength maintenance is mandatory. I felt okay running this week, even though it's hotter than hell out. We're running in the afternoons since the pool is empty in the morning and crowded late. Plus, training in the heat (albeit a little slower) will help us acclimate to a potentially hot run portion of the race at Orangeman.

It's difficult for me to look at the end goal sometimes, as it feels so impossible. A half Ironman? The first half of the 56mi ride is uphill? Ending the race with a half marathon? So I break it down into what I'm doing today and tomorrow. I break it down into little bitty chunks I can manage. Plan the work and work the plan, and everything else will follow. Right now I'm feeling really confident in our training plan and this formula:

Good Plan

Hard Work

+ Good Attitude

= Fun Race

What's Next?

2011-06-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

I received the following comment on my last post from the lovely Doll, "I'm...curious to know what you two will be doing after your next race. Will it be an endless stream of training and racing training and racing? Or will there be a transition of maintaining a sensible workout without the end goal of a race?" I began to reply and then my comment grew enough to merit a separate post. Why not, right?

Good question, what ARE we doing? The major triathlons (70.3 or Half Ironman distance in particular) open up registration a year in advance for the lowest rate. Registration can fill up or prices increase before you know it! As races we want to do began opening up for registry, we've snapped up our spots, making 2012 a pretty well planned out year already. The rest of this year will be focusing on the Orangeman Half Ironman (1.2mi swim, 56mi bike, 13.1 mi run) with two small sprints thrown in for fun (Pacific Coast Tri and Newport Beach Tri). After October, we will be doing some serious rest and recovery to allow our minds and bodies a chance to heal. Our focus will shift from having a training schedule to having fun while being active. Adam's wanted to get into rock climbing for awhile, and I haven't climbed in a few years, so we may take a few months and climb or hike a bit.

2012 is going to be a fun and exciting year for us! We will begin training at the end of 2011 as I find that starting training during the holidays keeps me grounded to my goals as opposed to slipping non-stop into the holiday madness of over-indulgence. We'll do our first race of the year in Oceanside at the Oceanside 70.3 at the end March. A month later, we're flying to St. Croix for a getaway of epic proportions! We're signed up for a Half Ironman dubbed "Beauty and the Beast" that's a world class event. It's beautiful, it's difficult, and best of all, we're staying for a week! After that, we'll have some time to recover and gather our cajones for our crowning achievement - the full Ironman.

What?! I know, I swore I would never do a full Ironman (2.4 mi swim, 112mi bike, 26.2mi run). Adam swore he'd never do a full Ironman. It's insane. It's brutal. It's impossible, right?! I mean, the two of us doing an Ironman?? Well...somewhere along the line...we started thinking we are capable of anything. At some point, we went from thinking, "That's insane!" to "Hey, we're insane! Yay!". I'm not sure what it says about us, but I think we're on the right track. I don't know that it's a distance we'll ever repeat and right now, the thought of doing it seems unfeasible and unrealistic. If there's one thing I've learned in the past year or two, it's that I just can't trust myself to know what's possible or not.

After that, we'll need some real time off. Mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. We've been tossing around the idea of doing the whole John Muir Trail for a long time. It would require taking about 20 days off work (which sounds like a great idea) so that would take a little planning. It will require some logistical wizardry to organize our food drops, how we're getting up there and back, and who's watching the cats...but it will be a journey of a lifetime. The JMT begins in Yosemite and traverses 211 miles through the stunning wilderness of the High Sierra up to Mount Whitney. We also are tossing ideas around for our own company (!) and we'll be dedicating more time to that as well. I don't think either of us will be leaving triathlon for many years to come, but we are going to mix it up a bit in the next few years!

Rest & Recovery Time

2011-06-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe it's only been about a week and a half since Escape From Alcatraz it feels like at least a month has gone by. I let my stomach recover last week and began easy workouts last Thursday. I find that an easy swim is one of the best recovery methods. Your muscles warm up, knotted fibers lengthen and stiff legs loosen up. Friday I joined my sister at the early morning spin class at our gym for a brutal one hour sweat-fest. I usually do my weekday bike rides before work outdoors, but I am looking to increase my speed and power on the bike and this spin class feels right for building that. Honestly, I can be a bit lazy on my ride during the week and I don't get as much of a workout for my one hour as I should. With Orangeman looming in the fall, I'm ready to focus and get stronger on the bike. The easier I make that insane uphill first half of the OM bike leg, the easier the half marathon at the end will be.

I originally intended on taking most of July "off" from triathlon training, but after an unstructured week, both Adam and I were feeling listless, crabby and soft. Everybody needs days off and breaks, but I can really feel when my body is ready to go again. It's surprising how fast my mind was ready to get back into training. We're starting too loosely form a routine again in the mornings and fill mornings up with swim and bike and evenings with a few easy runs. This weekend we'll be joining Joby Gutierrez of Fitness Coaching for a free running clinic that will help implement good running form early in our summer-fall season triathlon training. I've come to enjoy form work and drills as they not only set the stage for efficient movement and injury-prevention, they are a nice slow start as opposed to the hard and fast hill workouts and interval sprints that come later in the season. I like to remind myself that the more efficient I am running, biking and swimming, the less work I have to do in the long run. And that's what I'm really about, doing less work! :)

I'm also catching up on a ton of nutrition reading - from the comprehensive Sports Nutrition for Endurance Athletes to Bob Seebohar's Nutrition Periodization for Athletes and Metabolic Efficiency Training. While it's no secret that I have a passion for cooking and food, I have a growing interest in nutrition for both athletes and as a form of general healthcare. As someone who has struggled with GI issues on a day to day basis in both my regular life and my workouts, I am turning to diet as the means to solve the problems. Already, through removing dairy, fried foods and alcohol I've noted a complete change in my body. I am no longer in pain and am able to be active and healthy without use of any drugs or invasive actions. I still suffer from GI issues during long workouts and races, and am turning to the concept of Metabolic Efficiency Training to remove my body's dependency on carbohydrates during extended workouts and to teach my body to burn excess fat instead. It's a fascinating and surprisingly common sense approach by a hands-on dietitian, coach, physiologist and athlete. Once I get a good handle on it, I will post some information!

We leave next Saturday morning for our 4 day hike across Catalina Island! It's going to be a good, steep climb up and a nice getaway for us both. :)

Escape From Alcatraz - Race Recap

2011-06-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

What a weekend! I'm happy to report that I successfully escaped from Alcatraz. It was a weekend full of accomplishment and some valuable lessons.

Day #1: We arrived in San Francisco after an easy day long drive from Orange County. The weather was just beginning to turn wet and windy and I began to seriously fret over the race going as planned. We opted for an early dinner and to get a head start on well needed rest with a early bedtime. A friend suggested a little Italian place a bit off the main tourist drag and we figured it'd be just the right place to get a decent plate of pasta with a simple homey sauce. Due to my dietary restrictions (and that we both cook/eat really clean food) we avoid dairy, fried foods, too much butter, oil etc... I should have known the moment we got our food that it was a bad move to stay and eat. One dish was swimming in butter and the other, a pool of oil. I tried to pick off the top as best I could, but that single bad choice would haunt me for the rest of the weekend via major stomach pain. Lesson #1: Never, never, never deviate from your regular diet. Even if it's days before the race. Even if other people ask you to go out with them. Even if it means you pay for a dinner and leave it on the table.

Day #2: we woke up to a steady downpour of cold rain and headed out to the race expo. Packets picked up, waivers signed, and free stuff gathered, we headed out to drive the bike course. I felt a little intimidated by the bike course (serious hills and rough pavement), but was in complete awe of the beauty of Golden Gate park and the Baker Beach area. After much more running around, we made it back to the hotel in time to get ready for the big day.

Day #3: I actually slept the night before! What?! Who is this crazy person! My stomach was still a wreck (cramping, bloating, etc...) but I ate some Breakfast Cake we brought with us and packed a banana, a bar and some gels. I felt relatively calm and completely stoked on the dry roads and lack of rain falling from the sky. Setting up transition for uncertain weather is hard. Will I need arm warmers? A beanie? A hat? Which lenses in my sunglasses? I had a lot of stuff in a little space. I think I can just stick with less and be fine in the future. We loaded onto the buses and then boarded the boat!

The Swim: I wasn't nervous until we got on the boat. We were packed like sardines in a tin; sweaty, hot, nervous sardines. Brad finally had the genius idea to move outside. We could relax, stretch, move and breathe! We aligned ourselves pretty close to the door and prepared to launch into the icy waters of the Bay. It's a little uncomfortable as everyone starts pushing and shoving and yelling and cheering and before you know it, SPLASH you're in the water! They said it was 52', but it didn't feel that cold to me. We did some open water swims this winter that were much colder. Perhaps it was nerves and adrenaline, but it felt manageable. Sighting was excellent and the water was relatively smooth. I was enjoying the easy swim right up until the last 1/4 of the swim. That's about when the water changed from ocean-like to insane river-like. I watched in horror as a buoy zipped past me and I realized that it wasn't the buoy zipping by, it was me, going with the current sailing past the buoy. Sad face. I re-sighted and despite all better judgement gave it all I had to dig in and swim slightly into the current and towards the beach. By the time you see crowds, you better be in position or it's just about too late to change course. I barely made it to the right beach, and I swam like all hell. Relief, joy and pride swept over me as my hands scraped sand and I stood up to make my way towards the swim exit.

T .5, Transition Run + T1: I was so excited that I didn't drown and landed on the right beach that I didn't give a damn about transitioning in any speed. I remember looking around all happy-like and taking my sweet time getting my wetsuit off and my shoes on (that and my hands were claws from the cold). The run was okay, it seemed a bit like cruel and unusual punishment, but it was only a half mile to T1. When I hit T1, I learned Lesson #2: If you don't pee in the ocean, you're still going to have to go pee when you get out. In all the flurry of diving off a boat, swimming 1.5 mi to shore, the crazy current, etc... I forgot to pee. I'll leave out how I solved this problem ;)

The Bike: I think the race directors were trying to kill us. We make it a point to do plenty of hill work in our training rides and I like to think that I'm pretty on point with it. The hills on this ride are no joke. The part that I didn't like was the poor road conditions combined with insanely steep downhills and/or into sharp turns. The downhills made me uncomfortable. I know I'm a bit of a chicken, but I'm not cool with super high speeds with a side of crappy roads. Neither my body nor my bike are worth trashing for a race. I felt sketched most of the way out on the ride. The way back, however, was all up hills. There are hills that lead to more hills, with false tops, and hills on the side. The ride up Seal Beach is intense, long, grueling and steep. It's backed up by two of the steepest little psychotic climbs that only SF can offer. I was so relieved to finally make it back down the long flat chute to the transition area.

T2: Something's definitely not right...my stomach is in major distress and I feel like I'm running out of energy. I wasted a ton of time switching out my lenses in my sunglasses (next time I'd just bring different pairs) and looking for my hat (missing). Regardless, I headed out on the run, feeling a bit disheartened as I see Thierry running back in (and almost done with the race) as I'm just starting the last leg.

The Run:The run makes the swim look seem like an easy warm up. It began with a flat 1.5 mi, then heads up stairs and up a muddy trail barely big enough for those going up and coming down. The trail offers the most stunning views around - giant trees, windswept cliffs, miles of ocean and city views. It's unbelievable and it helps ease the pain of the trail. After a nice downhill section, you head down on to the beach right into deep sand. My training guide had said to head to the wet hard pack, but this year they set it up with a good long stretch in the deep sand and then the loop back to the sand ladder was on the hard pack sand. Deep sand has a way of sucking the life out of your legs! At this point, my body was refusing any nutrition and cramping at both the Heed mix I had with me and the water on the course. My run became a run/walk and I forced water in as necessary, as 8 miles without hydration for me is worse than cramping. The sand ladder was surprisingly not that bad! I mean, it's sandy and laddery and long and whatnot, but by taking it one step at a time, it was manageable. The hard part is that the next bit is all uphill after the sand ladder! I was in a small pack of guys and we took turns motivating each other to jog up the hill and keep moving faster. I was relieved to hit the downhill section and head back in to the finish. The last two miles were painful - my legs were strong, my cardiovascular system ready to move, but my stomach was threatening to do something bad. It took all I had to sprint into the finish and I gave it all I had. My time was awful, but I did finish!

Summary: I'm researching alternative solutions to gels/gu/etc... I need to find a real food nutrition I can take in while exercising and/or research metabolic efficiency to remove the need for so much nutrition on the course. All 3 of us who did the race came down with a nasty stomach bug from swimming in the Bay after so much rain. Nasty, nasty, nasty. I broke out into a fever early Tuesday morning and am still feeling a tad shaky. I'll also bring more of my own food on road trips and clearly explain to friends that I can join them at dinner, but I'll be eating my own food as to not begin any type of chain reaction of stomach issues. I'm not sure if I'd do the race again, to be honest. It's a lot of money and the bike course was a bit sketchy. On a good note, it's an extremely well supported, well organized and well run race in a beautiful location and you do get to say you "escaped from Alcatraz". I highly advise any future escapees to check out a coaching plan tailored to the race such as the one I used by Rachel Casanta of Hypercat Racing and to really focus on hill work both on the bike and on the run!

I'm looking forward to a few weeks of light training and pursuing some other hobbies (what?! I know!) and then diving back into a rigorous training plan for our first 70.3 at Orangeman on 9/25!

Fear and Courage

2011-06-02T12:59:00.000-07:00

"You have to keep showing up, being open, and doing the work. The journey into the self is not a group experience. It's solitary work. But so many of us are afraid of being alone. So you need to experiment... The whole process of following these spiritual instructions has a lot do with conquering our fear."

~Beryl Bender Birch

My post yesterday was relatively positive and optimistic, but I think it's important to show the other side of things as well. When I tell people that I do triathlons, or that I'm swimming in the ocean, they frequently tell me that I'm brave or courageous, and that they could never do that because they are terrified of the ocean. I've got a secret.

Just because I am swimming from Alcatraz to the shore of San Francisco does not mean that I am not terrified as well. I sit here at my safe little office desk and to be honest with you, I'm wracked with fear. When I'm in the water, sometimes the panic swarms inside of me until it's blinding and white hot. Sometimes I see a shadow in the water and freak. Sometimes I look to shore and it's...so far...away. Sometimes I inhale seawater and as I'm spitting it out I want to just give up. Sometimes as I am tossed around in the chop, I want to cry. That's not very brave at all. But it's the truth.

I've let fear like that stop me along the way in life. I've sat down any number of times at the foot of an obstacle and said, "That's too hard. That's not for me. I'm no good at it. I'll just stay here." I've done that in relationships, I've done it with my job, I've done it with dreams and I've done it with experiences. By now I've realized that the only way to grow is to do those things that scare you. I've skydived out of planes and hot air balloons, rock climbed all over CA, trekked in the Andes, hiked through the jungles of Costa Rica, whitewater rafted wild rapids, made new friendships, ran a half-marathon, train for triathlons, am in a long term relationship, and am contemplating changing my career path. Oh, and I learned how to swim a few months before my first triathlon last year.

Fear will always be present inside of me. It's like a nagging voice that can never truly be shut off, but it can be controlled. I look at it this way, I can either let fear rule me or I can be in control of my life. Being in control means that I can no longer use being afraid as an excuse. It means that if I "can't do" something, I have to learn how. It means that if I am "scared of doing" something, it's just the thing to try. I've never gotten anywhere by accepting limitations. I've never learned anything new or grown personally by settling for what's comfortable. With that in mind, I squash the fear down and muffle it until it's no longer paralyzing. I imagine a big hand shushing it up and I feel myself regain control.

I am scared sometimes. More importantly, that doesn't stop me from "showing up, being open, and doing the work". My journey takes me to San Francisco this weekend, and I will squash my fear down and I will not only survive, I will thrive, be joyful and have fun.

3.5 Days Till Alcatraz!

2011-06-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

I'm a few days away from hopping off the Hornblower and jumping into the freezing cold waters of the San Francisco Bay! I will swim 1.5 miles to shore in icy water, wild currents and crazy triathletes. Hopefully I will swim my course accurately and not add any extra miles to my swim. I will run 1 mile out of the cold water into cold air and to my bike. I will then ride my bike up and down and around the curvy hills of San Francisco for 18 miles. I will hop off my bike (okay, it's usually more like a fumble) and begin the immense bitch of a task of running 8 miles of trails, road and the awful Equinox Sand Ladder (400-some steps of sand smack dab in the middle of the run). At some point on Sunday morning, I will run my tired body down the finishers chute and cross the finish line!

Adam's funny photoshop of me conquering the sand ladder!

As of right now, there's a 60% chance for rain. I'm trying to just push all my "what if" thoughts aside and wait and see what the weather is actually like. Worrying is a waste of my time and won't change the weather. For weeks, nothing but sunshine was in the forecast and the moment I saw "40% showers" my heart fell. Then it increased to 60% showers. The race is held rain or shine, but it will mean rough seas, a slippery bike course and a cold, muddy run. On a good note, it will pack the dreaded sand ladder firm instead of pillowy soft sand!

I'm somewhere in between wanting to pout and feeling zen about the whole thing. I realized the other morning that the important lessons for me have already been learned. When I first heard of this triathlon, I was horrified. When I won the registration lottery, I was mortified. I felt sure of failure. I was terrified of the open ocean, sharks, swimming long distances and it seemed completely insane. Armed with only a training plan and dedication, I have made my way to where I am now - a few days from jumping off the Hornblower and swimming the San Francisco Bay. Today, I know that I can complete the triathlon. Today, I am not afraid of the ocean. Today, I can swim a mile and a half. Regardless of what the weather does, I'm out there to have a good time :)

I've done all the work that I can do and have trained for the race with the fantastic help of Rachel Casanta at Hypercat Racing in Ventura, CA. The last week since the OC Tri has been a week of healing and rest, and I feel like I've successfully beaten off the cold that was threatening to take me down. I'm injury free and ready to go. Mostly, I'm looking forward to the 2 hour massage I have scheduled on Monday after the race!

This funny weather business is another reminder that life is about the journey, not the destination!*

*However, if the Weather Gods are listening: I would really appreciate it if the weather was calm on Sunday. Cold? Ok. Damp? Ok. But some calm seas and semi-dry roads would be totally appreciated.

OC Triathlon - 5/22/2011

2011-05-26T14:08:00.000-07:00

My goal was to finish in 3 hours +/- 10 minutes given how I thought the course would go. Given how the run course actually went the fact that I finished in my goal range at all is totally surprising! I've been feeling a little under the weather for the past week and half, so my main priority was to have a good time and finish in reasonable time.

The event seemed a little unorganized and a little understaffed. There were so many buoys in the water it was difficult to tell where to swim exactly. It seemed as though the practice swim was better marked than the race swim!? Adam's group was the first to take off and I was the 3rd. Compared to the complete abject terror I felt in the last race, I felt calm and relaxed. My swim was pretty uneventful, I didn't push it very hard, just kept swimming along. I tried to pick up the pace a bit at the half way point, but the water became congested with faster swimmers as they let the men 40-49 go after us for some reason (and those guys haul ass).

I exited the water feeling pretty good and my earplugs seemed to help my dizziness issues a bit. Usually I exit an OW swim reeling like a drunken sailor! My bike split was great, I'm really pleased with my average speed on that semi-hilly course. I felt strong and evenly paced. I started the run at a fast clip and fortunately took it down a notch, since I didn't know about all the hills that lay ahead. Whoa - hills, after hills after hills! No joke!

The hills were a bit hard on both the body and the mind. The downhills were steep and jarring and the uphills slow and grueling. I was bummed to feel my knees aching on the last few downhill sections, but gathered enough energy to gun it through the finish. I'm okay with my 10 min/mi average on that course. In fact, I'm pretty happy with it. I know I can go a lot faster, but I was out there to have fun and hit my reasonable goal.

From now on, I'll bring a hydration belt as I didn't think there was enough water on the course and nothing freaks me out like that. I'm resting a bit after the race and have a tickle of a cold that must go away before next weekend's Alcatraz race. I feel pretty good overall!

Adam was 10th in his age group (35-39)! 10th! For his first race! I'm really proud of him and all of his hard work. He's a natural in all three sports (plus, now I don't feel so bad about not keeping up with him). It was really nice to have him on the course with me. Adam's cousin Mark and our friend Thierry also did the OC Tri with us. Every time I saw a familiar face it buoyed my spirits and renewed my effort. While triathlon is very much a solo sport, there's a 'team' like camaraderie that I am learning to love.

Last Weekend + Race Week!

2011-05-18T13:48:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I headed out to see my Grandma in Arizona. While Arizona has thousands of miles of open road perfect for riding on - it's hotter than hell and skin-parchingly dry. Despite the 90' morning sweltering heat and the 20mph winds, psychotic Arizonian triathletes and cyclists were out hammering out miles on the shimmering asphalt. What is wrong with you people!? Arizona must make for some of the toughest competitors in the sport because it's insane to train in those conditions. I would have to get my sissy Californian ass up at 3am to exercise before the sun rose.

Last long run before the OC Tri!

On a good note, I had one of the most enjoyable meals of my life at Cafe Monarch in Scottsdale. It's a tiny one-man operation located just off Scottsdale Road. Fantastic! The following morning I woke up to my sister asking me when I was going to get up and go for my long run. It was 5:45 am on Sunday. Surely, I thought, I could wait until 6:30 am. Surely, I thought, it wouldn't get too hot too soon. I was wrong. It was hot. At 6:30 am. Sweaty, shadeless and hot, but I ran. Saw some neat things along the way - lots of cacti, rabbits and pheasants.

Saguaro bones

We're halfway through the last week of training before the OC Tri this Sunday! I feel ready, lazy and calm. Lazy!? What!? It sounds funny, but after 16 weeks of fierce training, I'm tired. I'm as fit as I'm going to get for this race and ready for the fun to begin!

Down to the Wire!

2011-05-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

Elevation Profile from 0' -795' in 30 minutes and back down!

It's 11 days until the OC International Triathlon! Whoohooo! I feel like I've been training forever. After that, I've got two weeks until Escape From Alcatraz. I feel ready to race and ready for a little break! We had a great last Saturday tackling both a 1.25 mi ocean swim and a seriously hilly trail run at El Morro. My plan said "rolling hills" but we hopped on a trail that had one direction - UP. We gained 795 feet in the first half hour. Um...what? Some of the hills looked like walls. It was insane, intense and an excellent workout. If nothing else prepares me for the dreaded Equinox Sand Ladder, this run will!

Oh hai sand ladder! See you at mile 3.5!

I finally had a successful ocean swim - my best yet! Adam and I went out to Crystal Cove and swam the full out and back (roughly 1.25 miles) without the insane panic-caused stops every 100 yards. I made a commitment to myself the night before that I was going to be in control of my fear. By refusing to let it surface whatsoever, I kept that promise to myself and had a successful, smooth swim. I also tried earplugs this past week as I had a major issue with swimming related ear pain (or someone was taking an ice pick to a voodoo doll of me). The earplugs prevented pain and helped me keep my equilibrium upon exiting the water. Nothing like swimming like a champ to stumble in the surf on the way out!

I'm really excited for everything. I'm definitely excited for tapering - my body is tired and needs a week of slow spins and easy jogs to get set for race day. This week we're in the final push before taper week. Because I'm doing two races back to back, I'm only doing a partial taper next week, then a medium week, and a more serious taper before Alcatraz. I think my recovery time will be pretty swift given that we already did a practice run of the OC Tri course and went back out to ride the following Monday.

I'm also looking forward to our backpacking trip in Catalina (to hike the Trans-Catalina Trail)!! Then it's back on the training schedule for our first HALF IRONMAN (the Orangeman)!

Making Time

2011-05-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

“Don't say you don't have enough time.

You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”

~H. Jackson Brown Jr.

The biggest excuse people have for not doing something is a lack of time. No time to take a class. No time to exercise. No time to go back to school. No time for themselves. No time to eat healthy. No time to get enough sleep. There are 1440 minutes in every single day. Surely, you can find 30 to work out. You can find 60 to take a class. You can find 15 to spend by yourself and relax! Whatever it is you feel like you cannot possibly find the time to do, you can. The secret is that you have to want it badly enough to make some changes.

I spent years feeling like I was always falling behind my list of things I wanted to do as a result of "lack of time". In hindsight, I wasn't really doing that much. Once I had the goal of completing a triathlon in sight, I began to trim the fat from my calendar and found loads of extra time.

Looking for more hours in the day? Here are a few tips:

1. Wake up earlier. Yes, it sucks! Start slowly by waking up 10 minutes earlier. If you're like me and need light to wake up, try one of these light/alarm clocks. Do I like getting up at 4:30-5:30 am? NO! But, I get my workouts in first thing in the morning and they're done for the day.

2. Say no, sometimes. You can't do everything. Even if that means declining social invites, leaving early from the party, or not being able to go on a weekend retreat. If you have a goal (saving money, losing weight, finishing your degree, training for a triathlon) you must put your goal first. Ask for support from your friends and family in your quest.

3. Trim the fat. Have 3 hours a night of must-see TV shows? A daily happy hour ritual? Does it take you 2 hours to get ready in the morning? Play late night video games? Smoke cigarettes?! Those things are all taking up your time and adding little to your life. Value your time highly, it's a limited commodity. Look at ways to do things you have to do in less time.

4. Be prepared. Have tomorrow’s workout clothes ready to go the night before. You wouldn’t believe how much time I can waste getting ready in the morning. If it’s all together and by the door, it’s one less excuse to not go.

5. Have a plan, and execute it. Having a good plan (see plans at Training Peaks) means less time spent figuring out what to do, less time injured, and more quality training time.

6. Be consistent. If you start every Monday well rested and prepared for your week, your plan will be easy to follow. If you don’t get enough sleep one day, wake up with a hangover the next day, skip two workouts, fail to pack lunch, and commit to four social gatherings in a week; you’re going to be too far behind to recover your week. Do your best to work towards your goals at a steady pace you can maintain for the long haul!

Of course, there are countless other ways to save time, make time and create time. Adam and I are actually pretty rich on time as we don't have kids. The sheer volume of endurance athlete parents who manage to juggle children as well as jobs and training are a testament to true time management wizardry. If you want something, you can find the time! An unintended side affect of finding time for triathlon training is finding extra time to squeeze in more things I enjoy in each day. A spare hour means time to paint, a free 90 minutes is perfect for a massage, and sometimes...5 hours post workout on a Sunday is ideal for sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing. Learn to evaluate the worth of your time and spend it on things that bring you closer to your goals, before you know it you will be well on your way!

The Running Coach

2011-05-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

Whoa busy weekend! We're getting down to the wire with our training for the OC Tri and Escape From Alcatraz. Saturday started with a 5:00 am wake up to get breakfast and tea in before we started our day. On the plan was a relatively easy swim set and a 50 minute negative split run. Everything went beautifully and we were done by the time it was warming up and the wind was just picking up. We headed out to Anaheim to meet with Joby Gutierrez from Team FC. We were scheduled for a 2-2.5 hr run analysis.

Since neither of us ran in high school or college, we've developed our own running form and habits. I happen to be a hard core researcher and read tons of articles on form, posture, techniques and new philosophies about all three sports. Over time I've changed my running style in response to injuries, discomfort and to try new things. I've always felt a bit unsure of my running, since who am I to know what's good and what's not. We met Joby out by the river trail and he proceeded to film us as we ran at various speeds. It's a bit nerve wracking to have a running "coach" filming you run. I've never seen myself run before, and kind of hoped I never would! It's bound to be awkward. I mean, it's me we're talking about here.

After the filming, he discussed the basic how-to's of efficient running and showed us a few clips of professional runners doing what they do best so that we could see the techniques in action. Seeing these talented, natural runners made me feel both in awe of their grace and a bit ashamed to see my video re-played. Neither Adam nor I were prepared for what happened next. At all.

Joby informed us that we are doing really well and that our form was quite good. In fact, he was only going to give us a few drills to work on and we'd just want to keep up the good work! Whaaaaat?! We are good runners?! Come again!? How about THAT! Totally awesome. To go from feeling like an uncoordinated sow to a "good runner". Sweet! Joby reviewed the clips of us running, which weren't as bad as I'd thought it'd be. No one wants to see themselves ruunnnnniiiiiinnnnnng in slow motion. Before seeing the clip, I'd have described my running as follows: feet never leave the ground, total granny shuffle, decent posture and arm carriage, plodding, inconsistent foot strike and no heel lift (butt kicking). To my surprise, there are times when neither foot is on the ground! Holy cow, I'm running! My foot strike is good and my legs are actually moving. We then went through a number of drills to enhance our power and efficiency and cement good form in our runs.

I highly recommend having a run analysis done by a professional coach (instead of at a footwear store). I feel that anyone in the business of selling shoes is bound to give you a slanted opinion on your running. If you're in the area, I highly recommend Joby at Team FC. We both thought he was organized, timely, extremely approachable and very knowledgeable. I gained confidence in both my research efforts and my running ability. I also learned some valuable drills to incorporate into my running days that will hopefully push my running to the next level.

Fitness Coaching
Joby Gutierrez

Email : joby@fitnesscoaching.us

Phone : 714-803-6165

www.fitnesscoaching.us

Why I Tri

2011-04-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

May 4th, 2010 I decided to sign up for a triathlon and wrote about it on the older version of this blog. I didn't know how to swim, I hadn't ran in a few years, but I commuted to work daily by bike. I spent the past decade divided between my healthy self (going to the gym, hiking, backpacking, eating healthy) and my indulgent self (drinking too much, the occasional cigarette, staying up late, and prone to eating too much junk). I was in a cycle of being relatively healthy all week, then crashing into the party zone on the weekend. Every Monday I'd recommit to my healthy lifestyle, and every Friday I'd be careening back into my Bacchanalian ways. For many 20 and 30-somethings, that's a normal lifestyle, but I wasn't happy.

The seesaw motion was keeping me in limbo. I tend to be a high energy, high volume person prone to doing things 110%, even if those things are not good for me. I always found it necessary to have a release for the amount of effervescent energy, chaos and swirling thoughts that made me feel like bouncing up and down, rattling in my skull, and begged to be let out. My pressure valve always was in things that weren't good for me - anything that would take me down a notch, slow my brain, settle my thoughts, cloud my vision and muffle my cares. I was always taking three steps forward and three steps back, effectively going nowhere. I knew what I was doing wasn't my best choice, but habits are hard to break.

And then, everything changed. I committed to Escape From Alcatraz and realized that without committing fully to training, I would never survive the swim. Since the beginning of the year, we've been training hard. Six days a week, one to two workouts a day, hours of time well spent in sun, salt, wind and sweat. What once was a one-off fling with a new sport has become a full-fledged part of my life and a huge boon to who I am. I've had a lot of time to reflect on these changes and the importance of the sport in my life.

Triathlon has forced me to make a choice between the two halves of myself. I am either going to be healthy or be on the see-saw of stagnation. One or the other. No in between.

Triathlon has proved to me that I have no idea what I am capable of doing. It has taught me that what I think I can and cannot do is total bullshit. I've been believing a lot of bullshit for three decades. Imagine the things I can do when I no longer believe in limits!

Triathlon has given me the schedule and routine that organizes my life. It's insane, I realize that. Time management has never been my forte. In elementary school I received bad marks for time management and handwriting. My handwriting is still sloppy, but that's okay, I've finally learned how to allocate my time.

Triathlon has taught me to fill my sails with only that which pushes me in the direction I want to go. I cannot be happy with unhappy thoughts. I cannot be confident when full of self-doubt. I cannot share love if I'm smoldering with resentment. I cannot be free if I'm burdened down by guilt. The more fun I had training; the more outgoing, active, and inspiring people I've met; the more confidence, courage and self-worth I've gained; the more I feel like I'm going in the right direction. Then too, the less I feel the need to make room in my life for anything that doesn't inspire happiness.

Triathlon is a built in excuse for avoiding extra snacks, too much to drink, and late nights that I'll regret otherwise. I'd love to go on a binge weekend with you in Las Vegas with a hundred people tons of tequila shots, bad decisions and all nighters, really, but I have a race I'm training for!

Triathlon has shown me that there is little in life better than pushing your body past your mind's limits, spending all day in the sun, spending time with friends, seeing some of the most beautiful landscapes in the area, and feeling alive.

Lastly, triathlon has taught me how to make time for what matters. In a life with not enough hours in the day to divvy up between work, family, friends, obligations, chores, hobbies and exercise finding time to enjoy being alive can be tricky. Before you know it the year is over and you can't put your finger on a single moment. Maybe I don't have as much "fun" as I used to. Maybe I don't go out and have tons of fancy photos to show for my time. Maybe I don't make plans as much, or have something exciting going on all the time. Maybe I say "no" sometimes to friends and family. Maybe I look crazy to other people.

Today, I saw the crescent of the moon every time I breathed during swimming. I chased rabbits down the trail as the sun rose. I stopped and took in the reflections of the morning in the Back Bay. I noticed different views I'd like to paint. I chatted with Adam. I spotted plants I'd never seen. I hollered at friends as they rode by. I reveled in the cool spring air. I find that I get more of the time I enjoy out of my day, and less time spent rushing back and forth. People frequently express sympathy at how little time I must have (given how much I spend training). Yet, my training is my time. Swimming is a good place to meditate. Cycling is a fantastic way to see some beautiful areas I didn't know existed! Running allows you to be fully in contact with your surroundings and clear your head completely.

Week 175,028,734 of Training

2011-04-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

Extra-dorky post-training shot!

The weekend before last our group met at Crystal Cove for an open water swim. From the moment we crested a hill on PCH and saw the chop in the water, I knew it wasn't going to be my most successful swim. I'm determined to swim in any and all (safe) conditions, choppy water included. We were heading in as Brad and Thierry were exiting so they joined us for a quick loop. The upside is that the water is warming up! The negative is that it was like trying to swim in a washing machine. I couldn't get a non-sea water breath in me and could not find my rhythm. I kept myself relatively calm and collected until I just couldn't take being shoved around by the sea anymore. I swam for shore and felt excessively relieved upon reaching terra firma. I keep reminding myself that it doesn't matter how well I do, just that I am doing it. Did I show up? Did I swim? Was I more confident? As long as those answers are yes, I'm successful.

This weekend was a blast! We did the OC International Tri course at Lake Mission Viejo along with a group from Tri La Vie. I'm still lacking confidence in my ability to swim long distances. When the halfway buoy was pointed out to us from shore, I though, "whoa, that's a long way"! Part of me kept trying to say, "we'll never make it that far". Learning to not trust that voice has been the biggest change internally in the past year. More than not trusting, I shut that voice the hell up as fast as possible. That voice held me back far too long! Who says I can't swim that far? Not me! Sure enough, not only did I swim the distance, I came in at about 00:32:33 just five minutes behind Adam and the guys! So THERE little negative voice! In your face!

It is a struggle for me to find my groove during the first quarter mile of a group open water swim. People everywhere, legs, arms, everyone swimming all over the place, and the inability to get a good breath and sight where the heck I'm going tend to throw off any attempt at rhythm. Finally I found a girl I could settle in next to. Having another body in the water to swim next to seems to aid in establishing a groove. Finally as we rounded the first buoy, I felt my pace even out and dropped the girl and began passing those who were in too much of a hurry for the first part of the swim. I'm really proud of how I did, but a bit nervous about the mile and a half between Alcatraz and the shore of San Francisco. I'm just going to have to keep having faith in my own insanity.

We headed out on the 25mi bike course shortly after the swim. The course begins with hills so small, so low grade that you don't really see them until you realize you're crawling speed-wise. It's absolutely beautiful in Santiago Canyon - the sunlight plays on the hills, the mustard in full bloom and the lush green of spring! 25 miles seems awfully short after our usual weekend rides have creeped up towards the 40mi range! Riding a bike is pure joy!! Adam missed the half way point in his pure excitement at being on his bike, but we finally all met back up at the car.

I wasn't sure how my shins were feeling so we headed out for a 3 mi run. Everything worked out great, we had a good run and we were back in the car heading home by noon! It's hard to imagine that less than a year ago, a triathlon half that distance (well, same run distance) wiped me out completely. Our dedicated training paid off and we went on to enjoy the rest of the day with friends, sunshine and no debilitating soreness.

Go Big or Go Home!

2011-04-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

When I signed up for my first sprint triathlon last year, I looked ahead at the longer races and thought, "No way". No way could I do something like that. No way would I think about that. No way would I ever want to do a race that long, train that hard, or go to that level. Life always has a way of surprising me and the more time goes by, the more I realize I have no clue who I am and what I will want in the days to come!

When the opportunity arose to do my first Half Ironman this year on September 25th super close to home, I am taking it! I've run 13.1 miles. I regularly swim over 1.2 miles. I ride 40 miles already (comfortably). All I have to do is put that all together in one day.

My weakest link? That run. The ride is going to be hard - no joke. It's an 18.1 mile hill UP Ortega Highway, but the last 25 miles are down hill! There's a great 12 week plan on Training Peaks with my name on it. To accomplish anything all I need is a plan. I have the motivation, dedication and passion it takes to follow that plan through.

Hey, life? Keep on bringing me the surprises, I like it!

Weekend Goals

2011-04-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

I will NOT be scared during open water swimming on Sunday
Saturday: 2 hour ride followed by 10 min transition run
Sunday: 1 hr 15 min run followed by open water swimming
Healthy, balanced diet - no big splurges, keep food intake consistent throughout weekend
Stretch and ice shins if necessary
Don't just nap the rest of the day after training!

Escape From Alcatraz is a mere 50 days away! I need to be using my open water swim time for swimming, and not just conquering fear. Lately we've been swimming in the deep end of the pool to push longer distances rather than speed, which seems to be the focus of our master's group. We're going to try running first since we have a long run, then cool off in the water with a nice swim. Hopefully that will take me down a notch mentally and help to stretch and cool my muscles after a long run.

I'm still trying to drop weight, as every pound lost makes my life much easier. It's difficult to reduce calories when training so hard, but it can be done safely and slowly. It's too easy at the end of a long training day to feel entitled to something splurge-y and/or eat a bit inconsistently (cereal for dinner, a bag of chips, etc...). I'd also like to work more on not being totally exhausted after my weekend training. Take it easy - yes, but not be forcibly parked on the couch in a prone position.

Spending the weekend outside, having fun, being healthy and active, with a few good people? Perfect!! I'm finding motivation everywhere these days from articles on Active.com to other triathlete's blogs (such as the exceedingly fast Beth Evans). I'm empowered by the wide range of people that are outside jogging and cycling and rollerblading on the trails of the Back Bay. I'm inspired by people who are ten times faster than me and moved by seeing people engaging their bodies in activity regardless of who they are, what they weigh and what speed they move. I see moms running with newborns, swimmers in their 70's, little kids pedaling little bikes, and all of them remind me how lucky we are to be alive and to have the opportunity to move our bodies.

Weekend Recap / Week Preview

2011-04-12T10:12:00.000-07:00

Mid run bridge snapshot!

We are back from our weekend in Napa Valley for my sister's wedding! She officially became Mrs.Gnegy after a year of planning and waiting and making everything just right. Thursday evening's hail and sleet worried everyone about the weather for the big day, but we woke up Friday to blue skies!

We headed out in the 38ish degree morning for a easy paced 50 minute run, hoping to swoop by the flower shop and walk the bouquets home. We traversed the river area making a number of loops until we finally found a nice asphalt bike path. Just about that time, we had to head on back! The flowers weren't ready, so we took an easy walk home to stretch our legs.

The wedding went splendidly and my sister looked absolutely gorgeous! The vineyard setting in the garden area of the restaurant they had selected for their ceremony was stunning. Rolling hills, acres of vineyards, blue sky, huge clouds and plentiful sunshine. On the way to Napa, we headed over the Golden Gate bridge so I could stare hesitantly at Alcatraz. It's some rough water from the island to shore, you could see the chop on the surface. It doesn't look TOO far until you notice the teeny tiny size of the sailboats. Adam's told me all I need to do is be like Dory in Finding Nemo and sing, "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!" so that's what I'll do :)

We rested on Saturday and got back in the swing of things on Sunday with a 2 hour ride. My body is used to plenty of sleep, lots of activity, no alcohol and clean food. A few days of a mixed up schedule took me down a few notches. It's surprising how much your body changes to adjust to a new homeostasis! This ride we went around the bay, up San Joaquin (3.75mi long and 2.9% grade), down Newport Coast, back UP Newport Coast (1.98 mi 4.1% grade) then up and back a few hills along the way on San Joaquin and home.

We're trying to run slower (sounds weird, right?) on our regular runs and pick up the pace hard on intervals. We're doing so much training at this point, that in order to not damage our bodies, we need to slow down a bit and run easier. I've been having a really weird pain in my ankles up the inside of my shins. Looking forward to hammering out a bunch of workouts this week and having a really nice weekend of a long open water swim, a long run and a 2 hour ride. Spending time outside, being active, training hard, keeping it simple...these things bring me the utmost joy!

Changes!

2011-04-05T14:43:00.000-07:00

What's up reader(s)!? I had a little down time and decided to change this up a bit. Starting with the blog name, registering an actual domain name (.com), re-designing the overall point of this blog aaaaand added a few new pages.

The new name of the blog is Eternal Recess at www.eternalrecess.com . While sitting at work staring outside at the mid-70's sunny California weather I thought, "man, I could use a recess about now." You know, when you used to get a break in the middle of school to go outside, get some fresh air, swing on the swingsets, run around a bit and remember that you're alive? Well, I want one.

With all this training, working out is no longer a chore, it's my recess! What could be better than being outdoors, enjoying the gorgeous area we live in, spending time with good friends, being healthy and having a good time? I hope you like the changes, there's a few more to come (a new background and header)!!

March - 60 some days left!

2011-04-01T13:18:00.000-07:00

When I found out I made it in the lottery for Escape From Alcatraz, I was terrified. I had some serious doubts about the swim, not to mention the ride and the run. I committed to train as hard as possible and be ready for race day. At the time, everything about the race seemed too big, too far and too scary. After the past months of training and looking ahead at another two months, I not only feel ready, I feel like I'm going to have fun!

Training six days a week, 1-2 times a day means that I have a very comfortable level of fitness. Training has become enjoyable, instead of "work". I recover quickly and am eager to train the next day. I used to look forward to days off or make excuses to take extra time off. Now, I have to force myself to take rest time, as it feels unproductive yet, I know it's one of the best things for me. My attitude has changed everything. It took awhile for this volume of training to feel good (and some weight lost), but once it did I was able to feel the rewards of all this activity and none of the drawbacks.

There are a lot of studies that show the link between endorphin release and exercise and increasing seratonin levels through exercise. Increasing seratonin or endorphins in the human body leads to feeling GOOD. Really, euphorically good. Doing so chemically is not so good. Having a legal, healthy, beneficial way to increase seratonin levels in the brain? Total win. A long but fantastic article can be found here and discusses a few ways that seratonin can be increased without drugs as a treatment for depression. While I've never been depressed, it turns out that real sunlight, consistent exercise and longer duration exercise are what's behind the biggest shift in my overall well being.

While I have always been intrigued by people who did great physical feats or endeavors, I never really understood how they did them, where they found the time, where they found the commitment, and how they mustered the energy. Now I know. For me, the first real step was to stop drinking alcohol. Sure, a few glasses of wine is fun! Getting up the next morning at 4:30a.m. to swim for an hour and then bike for an hour? Not so fun. With a six day a week schedule, a super clean diet and a really healthy body - the effects of alcohol went from being unpleasant to completely punishing. Once I cut out alcohol entirely - everything changed. Tons of energy, motivation, good moods, sound sleep, pounds lost, and a clarity and drive I've never known before! That may not be the ticket for everyone, but it sure catapulted me into being able to really, finally, completely commit to not only triathlon, but many changes in my life.

Now, I'm ready for the OC International Tri, the Escape From Alcatraz and I'm looking forward to signing up for a HALF IRONMAN next year!! The possibilities are endless!

50 Miles & Then Some

2011-03-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

Rolling roads of Santiago Canyon (not my photo)

Everything in the land of triathlon becomes doubled. If you can do a sprint, you can do an olympic distance. If you can do an olympic, then surely you can do a half Ironman. Once you've gone that far, why not?! Go big or go home! You can totally do a full IM. This type of rationalizing is what my brain subjects my body to. It's exactly why I said, "A 50 mile bike ride? Sure, sounds like a great idea" even though I've previously ridden only 25 miles. 25, 50, whatever, right?

One of my favorite quotes is, "If you're going to doubt something, doubt your limits". Every day this phrase rings true for me. Who am I to judge what I can and cannot do? I have proven my internal naysayer wrong too many times. I have learned to approach life as openly as possible. Having no clue what 50 miles would be like, I cannot say whether I can or cannot do it. The worst case scenario? I have to stop and have the guys come get me. The cost? A little pride. That being the worst outcome, I agreed and we headed out last Saturday.

We started on El Toro Road next to the toll road and headed out around the backside of the hills on Santiago Canyon. It was cloudy, cool and everything was verdant green from the rains the night before. Doing any ride for the first time is the most difficult. Not knowing the terrain means I don't always time my shifting and energy expenditure correctly and wear myself out. The first half of the ride went beautifully and I found out that the half way point was just about at my mom's house!

The second half of the ride was okay. I did better than I thought up until the last quarter of the ride. Every hill just started to suck. Even the little hills. I finally pedaled back into the parking lot where Adam was waiting for me and I dismounted my bike in a low-blood sugar rage and swore that I was NOT going on the run afterwards. Turns out I needed one more bottle of water and one more package of food on the ride. The moment I ate, I felt worlds better, slipped on my running shoes and headed out with the guys on a run. Note to self: bring more food and water!

Most surprisingly was that my legs were just a little stiff the next day. I forced myself to take two days off and went back at it this morning with a swim/ride session and felt great! Another good weekend enjoying feeling healthy, positive and on track. You never know what you are capable of until you try!!

Thoughts

2011-03-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

1.) A rabbit almost took me out whilst contemplating his own suicide this morning on the Back Bay trail in the dark. From now on I'm using the expression, "like a rabbit in headlights" in lieu of deer.

2.) Saturday I realized that once you exceed 30mph going downhill on a lightweight road bike with a tailwind, any attempt at braking is useless and you're completely f*cked if you hit a crack.

3.) Saturday at 30mph I also was reminded of my awkward reaction to monumental fear - insane laughter.

4.) Not a day goes by that I am not pleasantly surprised at how much this sport has changed my entire life - for the better!

5.) I need to buy a smaller swimsuit! While it's totally possible that mine is just stretched out from use, I'm going with the idea that I'm getting smaller ;)

82 days left!

2011-03-14T12:23:00.000-07:00

If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse. - Jim Rohn

This is my training swim at Crystal Cove. Note how tiny the people are at the bottom left of the page (circled in red). We swim out and back and it's about 1.22 miles! This was my best open water swim to date! Adam and Thierry flanked me and we swam together. I still have my breathing set up wrong from the start, so I'm out of sync with it. Never an issue in the pool, but I am scatterbrained in the open water. I'm getting there. This was a definite sign of improvement!

Had a great 4.5 mi run after the swim. Felt relaxed, full of energy and super healthy. I managed to cruise along the sand and pick up speed on the way back in. I tackled the big hill back up the bluffs with the greatest of ease so far. The first switchback is relatively easy, but the second is a complete bitch.

Saturday, Adam & I headed out for the 25mi Back Bay to Newport Coast loop and while he was in front of me, I wasn't too far behind! I tackled the big Newport Coast hill with lower cadence, higher gear pedaling and mixed in a few easier gear high spin minutes. I didn't stop at all on the way up, which was a huge improvement over the first ride. Took the time down from 2 hours to 1:30, knocking half an hour off! Whoa.

I feel great. Ready for anything! Gaining confidence in all three sports and looking forward to the races. I'm really excited to see Adam race. He's gone from thinking I'm crazy to being a tremendous athlete in all three sports. Next weekend if the weather cooperates we're going to try our first 50 mile ride with Thierry. I'm going to give it a go! You never know what you're capable of, until you try it.

95 days left!

2011-03-02T15:53:00.000-08:00

95 days left till Escape from Alcatraz and 80 days till the OC International! That doesn't sound like many days, but it will have to be enough!

I watched the full video from EFA's 30 year anniversary race (short clip above) and felt really nervous. The swim seems too far, the bike seems too steep and the run seems just insane. My even keeled coaches at Hypercat Racing insist that as long as I stick with the training program, I will make it. I'm going on 100% blind faith in that!

Feeling motivated with 6 days per week of training, averaging about 7-8 hours. Next week we pick up to 9-10 hours and while that may not sound like a lot, an extra 2 hours is hard work! I've got some minor health issues I'm taking care of with the doctor but that's not interfering with any training. I feel like we've got the training/eating/sleeping/playing cycle in balance. Too much of anything can lead to exhaustion, demotivation or sickness.

If only I could sneak in less work time and same pay...

Something to Work Towards

2011-02-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

"All things are difficult before they are easy." ~ Thomas Fuller

This weekend was a good lesson that what I lack in skill, speed and fitness I more than make up for in effort and attitude.

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2/17/2010

2011-02-17T10:37:00.000-08:00

O'dark thirty I wake up to Adam telling me the alarm's going to go off in minutes. I usually wake up before it hits, due to our sweet little alarm/light/waker-upper-jobber but not today. Snoozefest, interupted. Lots of bitching ensues: grumble, pout, moan, it's cold, it's dark, wah, wah, wah *footstomp*. Regardless, I got dressed in my cold swimsuit and back in my sweats and headed out in the pre-dawn darkness to the pool.

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Week #16 - Ocean Swimming

2011-02-14T16:24:00.000-08:00

Finally I got back in the ocean again! I have avoided open water swimming since *cough* last September. I have a bit of a childish and gigantic sized fear of the ocean, things in the ocean and dying in the ocean. It's just...so big. With the help of one of my training buddies who's an ocean lover (nut), I swam a whole mile!

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Surf City!

2011-02-07T13:45:00.000-08:00

What fun! We did the whole thing!

Thierry (on the left) completed the full marathon (26.2mi) in fantastic time! Brad and I completed the longest run we've done - the half marathon (13.1mi). Everything went smoothly, we had a ton of fun, we chatted the whole way, and I'm feeling okay today.

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Surf City 1/2 Marathon!

2011-02-04T16:07:00.000-08:00

Let's just start by saying that I'm not a runner. Sure, I run, but I've got a handful of odd injuries and sore spots that keep me from running as much or as fast as I'd like. Oh, and a handful of extra pounds that slow me down as well. I didn't let that stop me from signing up for the Surf City Half in November. Yet, a crazy foot injury took me out of training for 3 weeks in December. Fortunately, my foot is 100% better, but my running program got thrown for an irrecoverable loop.

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122 Day's Out

2011-02-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

Welcome to OCD Land!

I don't start officially training with my online coach Rachel Casanta with Hypercat Racing until February 14th. She promised me that I would be ready for Alcatraz. Does she know I'm terrified of the ocean? That I am a slowpoke on my bike? That I run like a penguin? Really?! I'm aiming for survival, but she says I will finish, and finish well!.................

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Week 1/18

2011-01-20T14:25:00.000-08:00

A quick post and a few photos!

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Let the Fun Begin! Triathlon 2011!

2011-01-12T11:23:00.000-08:00

"If you are going to doubt something, doubt your limits" - Don Ward

This years training has begun! The first of many weeks of biking, running, swimming, stretching, icing, yoga-ing, and endless piles of laundry is here. I'm really excited to announce that Adam is training with me this year! After calling me crazy all last year during training, something clicked when he saw me race...he could do that! We already share a quite active lifestyle, and we have been swimming and running together for months now. The teamwork and motivation of having both of us doing it is fantastic.
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Triathlon - DONE!

2010-09-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

After months of training, a few investments, endless hours of biking, running, swimming and half-fearing / half-looking forward to it... my race is finished! It was one of the best experiences of my life. I will be doing more next year. It was as hard as I wanted it to be.
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Countdown to Tri

2010-09-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

Well, there's not much left that I can do to prepare for my first triathlon this Sunday! I watched a video of the 2000 race that the OC Tri Series promoters sent out and I felt excited, intimidated and anxious as all hell. Doing anything for the first time is nerve-wracking. I don't know where to go, am not sure what I will and won't need in my transition area, and am afraid I'll be the last athlete straggling in. I'm worried I'll fall off my bike whilst unclipping (I'm new to those kind of pedals) and will take out other racers in the process. I'm worried I will falter on the run, up the hills, and that it will be windy. All in all, none of it matters and it's going to be a good time :)

I'm looking forward to celebrating a little after the race and then heading to Portland for a quick trip! It will be the first time Adam and I have gone away in a year and a half! Well, if you don't include camping or hiking... It's going to be a wonderful trip and it will be nice to spend some quality time together without my energy wrapped around The Triathlon.

Hopefully I do okay on Sunday! Until then...

18 days till theTRIATHALON!

2010-09-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

What a journey! 18 more days of training, anticipating and wavering between fiery courage and quivering fear. I signed up for the Pacific Coast Tri on May 4th. I was full of the ambition and excitement that comes with taking on a new challenge. How has the training gone? Like everything in life, it varies day to day. It takes a lot of training to build up strength in three different sports, make sufficient time for mandatory stretching, strength train (also mandatory, I learned), eat enough and sleep enough. Not to mention, have a life, a relationship and a full-time job.
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Awareness & Encouragement

2010-08-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

Not my paint drawing, sadly (I only added the iPod)

When I first read that most races (running, triathlon, etc...) don't allow iPods, I balked. How in the heck can you race that long without the motivation that music gives you?! I've long considered my iPod to be an essential workout partner for every activity. It keeps me focused, motivated, and on the move. There's another thing that an iPod lends to a workout - the illusion of privacy and superpower of avoiding communication with others. This works beautifully at the gym to deter any unwarranted sleazy contact with the large grunting apes in the weight room, and it blocks the sound of the girl on the treadmill in front of you screeching loudly about the last night out. My music had become such a part of my workout, that as I moved outside, I never thought about trying to go without it until I signed up for the triathlon. Begrudgingly, I left my music at home and buckled down for a silent, grueling run.

Imagine my surprise at the pure joy I felt being iPod-free. I hear things I'd never hear, I smile and say hi to everyone, even those in their invisi-bubble iPod worlds, I can hear my thoughts, I can hear my breathing (and pace better accordingly), and I can hear others coming up behind me so that I do not cause an accident. It's changed the experience of outside training entirely. I am aware. Sometimes, listening pays off. I am still relatively new to my fancy road bike and I feel a bit new on it. Despite all the high-end gear, a part of me still feels like I'm not really a cyclist (even though I've been riding for a few years now). Spandex clad guys in matchy jerseys zoom past me on a regular basis, sometimes people wave and sometimes people don't. The other day as I peddled into the afternoon wind, a guy rode by me and as he passed he called out, "Lookin' good there! Keep it up!" It was a simple expression of pure encouragement, camaraderie and just plain kindness. If I'd had my earbuds screwed into my head, I wouldn't have heard him come up behind me and I certainly wouldn't have heard his rallying cry.

It made me think a bit about how minding our own business has become almost a compulsion in today's busy world. We consider keeping to ourselves, averting our eyes and not making contact to almost be good manners. It's a rather lonely world that way. Who knows if other people have ever called out words of encouragement to me, that I've blocked out with my iPod?! From now on, I'm going to be ready to receive everything I can hear and I'm going to be dishing it back. Everyone likes support. Everyone likes to be cheered. Everyone could use a little spontaneous interaction!

Week Whatever: Sharks and a Cold

2010-08-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

I'm getting back on the training wagon this week after a full week (ack!) off due to a nasty summer cold. I'm definitely getting nervous about the triathlon looming on the horizon. It will be here before I know it. The water is getting cooler and there have been sightings of great white sharks in local waters. Perhaps next year I will pick inland triathlons (i.e. lake swims). The ocean is overwhelming to me. I'm facing my fear(s) of the ocean. I've learned to swim. I enjoy swimming! I do not, however, enjoy the ocean. I feel like I've spent years trying with surfing and now with swimming, but it's just not a comfortable place for me.

I'm looking forward to getting out on the trails today and running. To getting back in the pool tomorrow and finishing the day up with a long ride. I'm learning the importance of focus in training. My focus needs to be on completion, not competition. It's easy to get swept up in the excitement and momentum of things, and forget that I'm here to have fun. I'm training to have fun, I'm racing for fun.

2nd Review of VFF Classics (Vibram Five Fingers)

2010-08-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

Over 2 months ago, I slipped on my first pair of Vibram Five Fingers (VFF) Classics and took a jog, not knowing what to expect. A lot of people scoffed, the same as I did when I first saw them in the stores. How could they not lead to further injury, pain, back/hip/knee/ankle/foot damage? Uneducated on the topic, I stuck with what I knew and dismissed them as a dangerous trend. You can only imagine my surprise when the first thing my trainer told me to do in order to assure myself of an injury free triathlon training program was to toss my running shoes and get into a pair of VFFs.
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Week #13?

2010-07-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

Crystal Cove swim course (not my photo)

I think I'm at the start of the 13th week, but really, does it even matter? The last two weeks were full of endless workdays, lots of workouts, an open water swim clinic, a few good books, an expensive new toy and the kindness of strangers (and some delicious homemade pasta).

Tri La Vie's swim clinic is absolutely wonderful - the level of coaching, fun and concern for participants was phenomenal. Martha, David and the rest of the staff created a safe environment for our group, most of whom were intimidated about open water. I surprised myself by swimming the 1/2 mile race course at Crystal Cove at the end of the clinic, although I did stop to rest on a surfboard once to catch my breath. A half mile is a long way to swim while trying to cram the panic down deep inside. The clinic requires a swimming wetsuit rental and while I thought I could forgo a wetsuit for the triathlon, I learned the necessity of wearing one. They float! They keep you warm! They make you feel a whole heck of a lot safer! They are embarrassing as hell to put on!

The first simply amazing act of kindness occured at work. A vendor that I work with bought me a gift certificate for a wetsuit! The son of the owner of the company and the co-owner are both doing the same triathlon as I am and they thought it would be nice to show their support by "sponsoring" my wetsuit. How nice is that?! Getting into this sport is a bit pricey (cheaper than skydiving by a mile), and every little bit helps. I can't think of a better gift than something that encourages me to be active (and take on my ever present fear of the ocean). Thank you, guys, I can't say it enough.

Second act of kindness occurred at my first swim with an open water meet-up group at CDM. I swam out like a champ to do the 1/2 mile loop at CDM, only to find myself exhausted half way through. The water was choppy, my wetsuit was too large (I've since exchanged it) and I was beat. A member of the group, and a total stranger, took me under his supervision and swam the rest of the loop with me and swam me back into shore. Humanity, kindness and generosity never cease to incite joy in me!

After years of riding my faithful silver steed, my Trek 7.3 FX commuter hybrid, I've upped my game in the bicycle world. I'm now the extremely proud owner of a super-effing-sick carbon fiber Trek Madone 4.5 WSD road bike. She's feather light and wicked fast. I could ride that bike forever.

Books: Finished Born to Run, and loved it. A story, anthropology, history, culture, theory, inspiration, revolutionary nutrition and exercise concepts and pure poetry on why we run (bike, swim, exercise, etc)... I'm also reading Thrive, ultra-marathoner and professional Ironman triathlete Brendan Brazier's book on nutrition. Whoa. Who knew that nutrition could be such an eye-opening read? He's a vegan endurance athlete. Roll your eyes all you want, but anyone who can finish a 50-mile+ foot race, professionally race Ironmans (they end in a full marathon) and is training/recovering at a swift rate is worth listening to over your pudgy golfing general practitioner, your neighbor or your happy hour buddies (purely examples). He's got a lot of very interesting concepts and theories about food, energy, recovery and how we think about fueling our bodies. A must-read, regardless of your dietary preference.

Week 11

2010-07-15T16:10:00.000-07:00

I'm usually indifferent of the weather as there is nothing I can do to change it and I try not to be one of those whiners who takes every fluctuation in the thermometer as a personal insult. Yes, I am also in Southern California and spoiled completely rotten by balmy weather most of the year. This week, it is not balmy. It's hot. Africa hot. Yesterday my schedule had me set up to do an outside full-sun, hill sprint + bootcamp. Yow! That's hot.

I will take a cold, drizzly, overcast, freezing wind workout over this blistering hot, windless, bullshit summer weather. I lived for summer when I was a kid. My sister and I would ditch school and lay out in the backyard soaking up every single ray of sunshine available. Our skin would darken until people refused to believe we are of Irish-German-Scottish descent. As the years have gone by, so has my fervent love of the sun. First of all, I don't get a "summer break". That sours the mood a bit! The heat is sapping. Sweat-inducing. Lazy-making. Smothering. I become a crotchety, bitchy, short-tempered anti-iguana. All while training for this triathlon.

/End Bitch Session/

I'm still training though, and I'm still having fun! The worse the heat gets, I keep in my mind two voices of motivation. The first is positive and encouraging, full of the rallying support that floods me from friends and family. The other voice is the one full of the nonsense I've told myself or others have told me in 29 years about how I can't do it, I can't swim, I'm not athletic, and I'm not thin enough. I'm not one to usually promote negative inspiration, but when I'm beat, nothing gets me going like proving that voice wrong! Bullshit! Sweat! Fun.

Week 9-10

2010-07-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

7/7/2010 - Full day - Swim (X) Bike (X) Run ( X )

Back to training this week after a brutal weekend! The weekend started off right with an intense training session Saturday morning but went right downhill as I proceeded to drink myself into a stupor Saturday night. While I used to be a bit of a boozer, those days are over. Unfortunately, my brain and my body haven't had this conversation and I still think I can put drinks down like nobody's business. Uh...um...hello? I'm not 22 anymore. Needless to say there was much lethargy, junk food and very little exercise on Sunday. Monday I roused myself for a quick swim and an early bedtime.

Note to Self: Please, please, please don't drink that much. Face it, you just can't hang!

The rest of week 10 (this week) has been a success. I've doubled up my swimming and biking every day. Yesterday I tossed in a 20 minute trail run and it felt GOOD. I am fully in love with my Vibram Classics and highly recommend them. Knee pain? Foot pain? Ankle weakness? Hip soreness? From running? Not anymore! I laugh every time a runner with $150 shoes on and knee braces hobbles past me sneering at my ninja shoes. Sneer away! I'm pain-free sucker!

I'll be rounding out this weekend with a nice camping trip and hopefully summiting San Jacinto on Saturday. I feel strong, healthy, and unstoppable. We'll see what the Marion Mountain trail has to say about that. :)

End of Week 7? 8?

2010-07-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

I finally got myself to swim in the ocean! Friday after work, I donned my swim suit, swim cap and goggles and dragged Adam into the water with me at Corona Del Mar. From the shore, the buoys don't look that far from land, nor from each other. That changes rapidly once you're in the water.

I didn't expect to be able to see under water, even with my goggles. I think I'd rather have no visibility, than to see fish swimming about and long tendrils of kelp snaking their way from the ocean floor. My main goal was to just get in the water and get away from shore. I had no real distance in mind. Adam seemed to be having a hard time adjusting to the water temperature and was a bit behind. He grew up ocean swimming and diving, but it's been a decade or so since he was last really active in the water.

Ocean swimming is okay. Mid-way out I found myself laughing and admitting that I was still really scared. There are so many boats and people at CDM State Beach, that it's highly unlikely that anything is going to be cruising around underwater. Fear, however, persists. I could feel the option to panic waiting inside of me, but I just kept breathing, swimming and acclimating to this unfamiliar territory.

Interesting that I could surf for hours and paddle from jetty to jetty to jetty without any fear at all, but the minute you take my floaty surfboard away, I'm hobbled with fear. I am a bit apprehensive as to how I'll ever swim the whole way, but I have a clinic in a few weeks that will help.

Triathalon Training - End of Week #5

2010-06-11T15:22:00.000-07:00

End of Week 5! How do I feel? Exceptionally good. Last Saturday I experienced torture-by-tractor-tire with my trainer. Tractor tires are heavy, dirty and excellent tools for fitness. Flipping them requires your whole body, as opposed to hours of in-the-gym workouts steadily working out one body part at a time. I know we're coming up to a good exercise when my trainer cheerily says, "This is usually what get people puking!". Fortunately, I kept my breakfast where it belongs, but whoa - this is one serious workout! I'm sure that as the temperatures soar, puking will find it's way into my workouts.

I followed up Saturday's torturous workout with a long hike Sunday. Due to my inability to accurately follow directions, we missed the turn off for our easy, relatively flat hike and climb, climb, climbed for hours up a moderately strenuous hike. Oops. My legs hurt for a good three days. While I enjoyed the hike, it wasn't the best move. My muscles need to rest. I need to pay more attention to my body before I get hurt.

This week's swimming has gone (waaaaiit for it...) swimmingly. Maybe I won't drown! Holy heck! I'm still not in the ocean yet. I want to get a wee bit more comfortable with swimming a continuous 500 yards. I did sign up for the swim clinic in July.

I found myself overjoyed to learn that an acquaintance through work is doing the same triathlon! It's his second year of triathlons and he loves it. We spent the good part of a day emailing back and forth about training, experiences and gear. I found myself bursting with excitement at this new adventure. While I am a lone wolf by nature, having a sense of solidarity with others is a vital source of strength and inspiration. I am fortunate to have an incredible group of people that are encouraging me in this journey.

Ninja Shoes!

2010-06-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh Vibram Five Fingers shoes and the taste of my own words. When these shoes came out I, along with most other rational beings, laughed, scoffed and blew them off. Heck, I even discouraged a girlfriend (hi Melita!) from buying them. How could they be good for your feet?! How many problems would increase? Running is already a painful sport - how could these possibly make it better?!
CLICK TO READ MORE »

Beginning Week #3

2010-05-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

Who says I can't swim?!

So far, so good! Now that I'm immersed in triathlon-land, I wish I'd started this earlier so that I could do more triathlons this season. Typical of me to want to bite off more than I can chew. A sprint tri is honestly the best start for me, especially as I am developing my swimming skill. Swimming is making more sense these days, and I am emphasizing my glide, learning to breathe correctly and feeling stronger in the water. I still can't figure out how do to those little under water flip turns at the end of a lap. I do a forward flip and get water up my nose. Sweet.

My trainer (B.) kicked my ass thoroughly on Saturday. I had the wise idea to ride to CDM, train, and ride home. I survived, barely. There's no comparison for a trainer. New ideas, new philosophy, new ferocity. No weights. No gym. No running shoes. No breaks. No excuses.

I stripped my bike of the pannier rack and am pricing out clip-less pedals and shoes. It looks leaner and lighter already! Silly, yet every ounce less my fat ass has to pedal, the easier it will be. Speaking of fat-asses...I bought a tri suit on sale this weekend at REI. I make it a point to avoid negative self-talk but whoa I do not look my cutest in a grippy, clingy, spandexy tri suit that squeezes my thighs like a half-empty tube of toothpaste. Needless to say, I'm very much looking forward to losing some weight and to seeing a slimmer, stronger, healthier version of myself come September.

Lastly, I got bike shorts. Padded, spandex, mid-thigh bike shorts. My nether regions are now looking forward to longer rides, instead of fearing them. That's all I'm saying.

Things I still need:
- clip on aero bars ($80-$100)
- clip-less pedals ($30-$50)
- bike shoes ($80-$100)
- sockless tri running shoes ($100)
- body glide whooohoooo! ($10)
- race number belt ($10)
- second bottle & mount for bike ($10)
- flat tire kit for bike ($30)

Training I want to do:
- bike maintenance seminar (I, uh, um, don't know how to change a flat) (free)
- open water swim training in June ($65)

I figure the pedals and shoes are a good investment, I can take them with me to my next bike. I'm not ready to shell out that kind of money for a bike yet, but one day, I will. All in all, it's not that much money, right? Better than spending my money on a lot of other things detrimental to my health.

Training Week: 2

2010-05-20T14:04:00.000-07:00

Bike. Swim. Run. Stretch. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

I'm settling into a nice training rhythm and tapping into my network of active friends to assist with training and advice! My swimming needs help. I contacted a friend from high school who coaches swimming and asked for assistance. I feel embarrassed of my lack of swimming finesse, but the only way I will improve is by accepting where I'm at and asking for help. Funny how that lesson runs through my life in various areas. Cycling is natural for me, although I am looking at modifying my existing bike to increase performance and speed. I don't want to spend too much on upgrades when I will eventually buy a road or tri-specific bike, but I do feel that a few modifications will go a long way.

In my process of asking resourceful friends for help, I called upon one of my oldest friends who is a progressive personal trainer and currently getting his degree in Kinesiology. Through our conversations about training my body for this triathlon naturally, holistically, and injury free he has convinced me try barefoot running. My knees have been plagued by injuries after ten years of full contact martial arts. The skydiving and hiking that followed those years have compounded the pain and damage. After hiking for years with minor foot issues (hot spots, blisters, small aching) my feet are now miserable in any hiking boot or hiking shoe. My body is confused, angry and in pain despite increased spending on higher technology equipment. In response to these failed attempts, I'm giving nature a shot.

When running barefoot, there is no heel-strike. Here is an excellent video showing the light, springy landing of barefoot running as opposed to running with shoes on. The human body was designed to use our feet as our support system. Strong, healthy, flexible feet are vital to strong, healthy, flexible ankles, legs, hips, back, and our entire body. I'll let you know how it goes. For those of you interested on the topic check out : http://www.barefootrunner.com .

I am planning on my first open water swim on June 5th. I have to pick a day so I don't avoid or prolong it. No expectations, except getting in the water. The more you subject yourself to something you are afraid of, the less fear is generated around it. There's so many lessons hitting home during this training, I keep surprising myself with where else I can apply the logic. Fear. Change. Commitment. Belief in myself. Asking for help. Humility. Being kind to myself. Patience. Hard work. Studies show the more you use a muscle or perform a new habit, the stronger it gets. My hope is that as my training parallels my life I will source the courage to make sweeping changes in my professional life as well.

"Fear tells us what we have to do...

The more scared we are of a work or calling,

the more sure we can be that we have to do it."

(My sister left this quote on my desk the other day, thanks buddy!)

Triathalon #1

2010-05-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

This blog has become the Everything Else section and I'm quite alright with it that way. Welcome to my newest endeavor, a triathalon! I haven't completely lost my mind, I'm only doing 'sprint' distance of .5 mi swim, 15 mi ride and a 3 mi run. My weakest sport is swimming. Swimming in the ocean, double whammy. Swimming in the ocean, surrounded by hundreds of swimmers? Yikes. Swimming in the ocean with hundreds of swimmers and sharks/monsters/deadly seaweed/etc...? I'm scared!

I've never been a strong swimmer, despite the swimming lessons we had as children. The water has terrified me as long as I remember. The ocean, in all of it's sheer power, is a force not to be reckoned with. Years ago, I felt the urge to surf. I bought all the right stuff and dove right in with the help of a friend. While I loved surfing, the workout, the peace, the bliss and the saltwater, the fear of the ocean eventually drove me back onto dry land. Every time I'd eat it on a wave and get tossed around I'd panic. My mind reverted to being very small, very powerless and riddled with fear. I'd come to the surface spewing water and near tears.

It's easy to say that I'm just not good at something and to give up. I'm no longer satisfied with that. Millions of people swim, surely, I can too. I began swimming in the mornings with a girl friend who has it down a bit. I'm still sputtering and flailing, but I'm finding a rhythmic and meditative joy in the pool. Swimming is hard work physically, and I'm enjoying the balanced and non-impacting workout I'm receiving. I haven't died yet in the pool, and I'm going to make damn sure I make it through the swim portion in the triathalon. Not only that, but I'm going to have to do training swims in the ocean.

I'm continuing to face my fears, re-write my personal story without limits as opposed to believing the limits that have been placed upon me, and glean as much experience as I can from each day of life.

Gear Army Review - Prana's Lolita Pant

2010-02-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

Prana’s Lolita pant lives up to its advertising: sleek, streamlined and flattering. While I often balk at the price of high-end active wear, Prana proves time and time again that their products are worth every penny.

Every time I wear these pants I’m in love with the waistband. There’s nothing worse than having your workout pants grip your waist too tight, resulting in an unflattering muffin top (no matter how svelte you are) or having your pants slip down because the waist is too lenient. The Lolita waistband is double stitched and wide, so it securely wraps around your waist, both instantly giving you confidence that your pants will stay on throughout the hardest poses of that advanced Vinyasa class and will keep you looking lithe.

The Lolita pant is close fitting with flat seams and a respectable rise. The flat seams ensure that my stems are chafe-free walking, bicycling and in yoga class. These pants would also be perfect for rock-climbing as the smooth fabric resists bunching under a harness. Although the trend is lower rise pants, I find the Lolita’s rise perfect. Neither too low nor too matronly, the pants fit and conform to the shape of your body, not a particular body type. They are exceedingly long, but they tailor up beautifully after a quick go with the sewing machine.

The Lolita pant is crafted from Prana’s eco-friendly Chakara performance fabric which means that it is both easy on the planet and good on your skin! Over 90% recycled poly and 10% spandex result in a breathable, quick-drying and stretchy fabric. Although I was a touch intimidated by the $75.00 price tag, you get what you pay for with these pants. I now wait for the day after laundry day so I can wear my Lolitas again!

P.S.: These are on sale NOW for about $53!

*Disclaimer: The manufacturer sent these to me through Outside Magazine for free to review. My review is based on performance only.

Gear Army Review: Lole Women's Travel Pants

2010-01-07T15:45:00.000-08:00

The Lolë Women’s Travel pants ($80) were designed specifically for me, I’m sure of it. Okay, so maybe they weren’t, but they fit like they were built for my needs, wants and activities.
The travel pant looks like a dressier trouser, stretches like your favorite yoga pants, resists wrinkles and stains like a sports fabric, dries instantly and stands up to brambles, rocks and twigs on the trail.

Read more here at OUTSIDE MAGAZINE Online...

*Disclaimer: The manufacturer sent these to me through Outside Magazine for free to review. My review is based on performance only.

Gear Army: Columbia Gaia XTM Multi-Purpose Shoes

2010-01-07T15:42:00.000-08:00

I am not ashamed to say I own more hiking boots than high heels. That said, I live in the land of year-round sandals (read: California). So encasing my feet in any enclosed structure of fiber, synthetic mesh, and rubber means impending discomfort.

READ MORE HERE AT OUTSIDE MAGAZINE ONLINE....

Gear Army: Columbia Women's Surefire Jacket

2010-01-07T15:40:00.001-08:00

The Surefire Softshell Jacket ($95) by Columbia Sportswear is perfect. Yep, I said it: perfect.

My body temperature in an active state is somewhere between volcanic and Sahara. When I’m working out in a cold environment I am immediately forced to do the on-off-hustle of outerwear. I feel like the goldilocks of jackets--this one is too hot, that one is too cold! It’s a constant battle between too much jacket and too little protection, especially in the realm of softshells.

CHECK ME OUT!

2009-05-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

I'm now a part of Outside Magazines Gear Army!

http://outside-blog.away.com/blog/2009/05/gear-army-osprey-womens-ariel-65-pack.html#

Because there can never be enough...

2009-02-03T21:11:00.000-08:00

Check out the cooking page at:

bitemekitchen.blogspot.com

Culture Shock

2009-02-01T19:29:00.001-08:00

Since I've returned from Costa Rica I have been in a haze of sorts. There was work to catch up on, my finances to manage and rearrange, my house to clean and chores to take care of. I plunged back into my gym routine and my eating habits as my favorite method of staying sane. I found myself last week staring at the wall of my office, unaware how long I had been staring, or what I had been thinking about, or why I was here at all. I was feeling warm wind in my face. I was staring out the window of a bus on a winding road in Costa Rica. I was feeling a blister form on the web between my thumb and my forefinger from my trekking poles. I was staring at night sky. Later that day, my mom asked me if I was doing alright. It seemed an odd question, of course I'm alright, you know? I have all my limbs and my mind and my health and a great job and I'm getting money back on my taxes. Yet...somehow there is something different.

These journeys to far away places - they add something to me...always unforeseen... unspecified... and un-asked for. I am learning that these journeys also take something away from me. It's like a Secret Santa of the Soul. Something in me gets wrapped up and traded for something from the place I'm in. It's as though when I buy my ticket I sign a voucher agreeing to release a part of myself for something that will benefit me more... Time has to pass before I realize what is gone, and what I've gained. I never miss what's been replaced. It just takes awhile to transition from the person I was when i left to the person I am when i return.

When I come home I usually talk to my mom the first full day of my return. No matter how tired I am, I call her and we talk. Well, she graciously lets me just talk and talk and ramble and unleash my torrent of words and jumbled moments onto her ever-patient ears. I sort and process and hold the experiences one by one. After the first few days... i let go. People, dear friends, acquaintances, everyone who cares asks how my trip was. I feel like an imbecile. To most people, it would be a quick and hearty reply and a few snazzy stories that encapsulate what The Trip was all about. I scratch the palm of my hand and mumble that it was wonderful, just beautiful, and I just could stay forever. How do you Snow Globe an experience of such a life-changing magnitude? How do you gift wrap an elephant? How do you tell what can only be shown?

Life is simpler Out There. You eat to live, to give your body the nourishment it needs to get through the day. You sleep like you've never slept before. It doesn't matter what pending flesh eating insects may or may not be in your bed or how hard that mattress is or what the odd sand is that coats the sheets... You smell life and sweat and earth and feces and growth. You feel every rock, every word, every raindrop. You taste the air on the inside of your nostrils and the dust as it settles in your mouth. Your knuckles have dirt ground into them, creasing them like an old lady. You use one scarf as your ultimate accessory - hair bandanna, cover up, neck coozy, belt, whatever. It works and it brings you joy. You are having a good day when you don't get delayed too much, when you wake up and don't have too many bug bites, your boots are dry and you take a shit. You appreciate a warm shower like there is nothing better in the world. I swear to you, a warm shower is worth millions of dollars. Your conversations are honest, there is no room for games and tricky social plots. People have families and for better or for worse, they love them. People may be shy but not necessarily insecure. They may be dirty, but they are proud of what they have.

Coming back to Orange County, I am alienated. I am supposed to come back and feel relieved. Feel overjoyed, fortunate and blessed. I feel confused. I feel lost. I feel massively and utterly lonely. The only things that matter are my family - my inspiring and supportive and wonderfully intricate relationships with my mother and my sister. And all the hot showers I can take (sometimes, even two a day!). Okay, I love my big bed as well. With a single paycheck, I could probably buy a house in Sitio Mata. That baffles me completely. It was a beautiful day today yet a lot of people spent it inside watching football, on expensive TVs, drinking into oblivion, and then getting in their cars and risking death or murder to go home and sleep it off. They fight and divorce and cheat on each other. They hate their jobs and their lives and eat fast food. They drive their Land Rovers and their Ferrari's and wear shiny door-knob sized diamonds. And I'm supposed to go out there and mate with one of these morons. Eek.

There are a lot of charades we play here in America. Social games. Dating ploys. Ladder climbing. Status tricks. I don't understand this. I think people here have to much time on their hands, and not enough hard work in the day to take all the necessity for drama-creating shit like that out of them. There's a lot of chattering and clamoring and squealing and preening, but very little laughter and gentleness. I feel that I belong more at the Grower's Ranch talking with the guys that work their asses off daily there than at an upscale bar where it is now trendy and attractive to be the ugliest/tattooedest/greasiest-haired/skinny jean wearing goddamn thing you ever laid eyes on.

I was debating on this whole Kilimanjaro thing. Africa is Mike's gig. You gotta take a bunch of shots to go to Africa. My mom might draw the line at Africa. Then again, my mom gave me this wonderful book I'm reading (Learning to Breathe) which is a true story of an incredibly brave and wild photojournalist (hint: read it!) and guess where she goes? Kilimanjaro. Okay, Kilimanjaro it is. And the John Muir Trail (this will alter me completely, I feel it). And New Zealand (Hello, Garden of Eden). And Patagonia. And France to visit Bob & Jean. And India. And Tibet. And whatever comes next... It was a relief and an I'm-Not-So-Alone moment when I read a sentence in this same book where the author states that people always ask her what she's running from and she answers that she always sees it as she is running towards something... That has been my going answer for awhile now. I just don't know what I'm running towards, but I am finding it all along the way.

So there's a whole crock pot of emotions and knowledge and changes brewing. Even though I feel really off balance and completely socially awkward - I am embracing this moment. This uneasy, skin-crawly, roller-coastery segment of time is always the immediate precursor to the realization of what has changed inside me. I have so much to be grateful for that I could never let even these uncomfortable days go without honoring them inside myself.

Costa Rica PART III...

2009-01-29T08:38:00.001-08:00

.....[please read Parts I & II first]......

We are supposed to meet our ride to the river at "the curve in the main highway"... Good Morning, vague directions! Fortunately, we find a curve on a highway and we are picked up. Success! We meet Andres who ends up being our guide for the majority of the Pacuare River segment of our trip.

totally useless side note: i have the attention span of a gnat these days and can't seem to finish this. Shoving all the work aside and finishing blog NOW.

So, we meet up with our fellow travelers and start down the Pacuare river. I really enjoy whitewater rafting as it is a mix of adventure, sight-seeing and physical activity. It was a relatively mellow day as it had not rained in awhile and the river was low. We arrived at the lodge and I exhaled a huge sigh of relief. I do most of our reservations and you are never really sure how some place is going to be until you see it. Especially in foreign countries, you run a risk of finding your luxury jungle eco-villa to be a insect-infested lean-to shack. Whew. It is beautiful! The carefully landscaped grounds dotted with the handful of villas, the gorgeous open air lodge, the river front view... Just what I wanted!

We unpack somewhat and head off on our next adventure - a new excursion they offer called Canyoneering. Now, since there are no BIG waterfalls or canyons around, it seems a little silly at first, but it turns out to be thrilling enough and lots of fun. We get filthy, muddy and are rappelling down waterfalls into murky pools of water (and who knows what creatures). I have a problem with slippery surfaces. Okay, I have a problem with a lot of surfaces, but if something is slippery and I am there - I will be the one to fall. I was doing so good - I'm used to rappelling (rock climbing) however, these slick and mossy rocks are giving me hell. Sure enough, i misplace a foot and BANG into the side of the wall I go. Fortunately for me, I have sturdy legs and am able to take the blow without too much whining. It does leave a nasty scrape that led to simpering fears of what happens when you start bleeding in the jungle. Enough of that, enough!

That night we arrived to dinner at the main lodge in a state of wonder. The entire lodge is light up by candles... candles everywhere... in the chandeliers, on the walls, set on the ground. It is beautiful. The wood of the lodge floor is high quality and it is customary to remove your shoes and leave them on the outer deck. We head upstairs to the bar area bare feet against the softest polished wood. It is at the bar where we meet an absolutely wonderful couple - Jean & Bob. They live in England, but met in the US (where she is from) and have recently bought a small place in France. They are well traveled, well educated and easy to converse with. We are called down for dinner and seated in various groups.

Imagine sitting on the deck of a beautiful lodge lit solely by candlelight...the river rushing past, the jungle twittering with the life that comes alive with the setting of the sun...complete access to a nice wine cellar... a fantastic three course meal... good friends...This was our experience. A well earned reward after our previous days of work and adventure. We ended up enjoying a few (plus) bottles of wine and enjoying each other's company as well as the company of our guide Andres who we cajoled into drinking wine with us. We also had the good fortune to see a ARMADILLO! It was quite possibly one of the cutest, shyest things I've ever seen. It was living under one of the pathways and it was only a foot long (not including it's tail). Silver and black, with very tiny little paws!

The next day we wake up late (maybe we had too much wine, maybe) and saunter down to the lodge for our breakfast. More excellent food prepared by the same guys who were our guides, our hosts and our activity coordinators - these guys are outstanding! We opt for a morning of canopy touring via zip-line and afternoon massages in our room. The zip-line is fun and we sail through the trees at high speeds! It's exhilarating and scary enough to get your adrenaline going a little bit. We are joined by Bob & Jean on this adventure and use the opportunity to laugh at ourselves, each other and converse.

It is raining now and I head back to the room for my massage. Surely, it wasn't the best massage, but it was luxurious in that I lay face down on the table being spoiled while listening to the river rushing, the steady patter of rain and the twitterings of little birds. I ease my way out of the room and float to the lodge for some hot chocolate with my book while Mike gets his massage. The afternoon is leisurely and before we know it the sun has fallen again. This is our last night, and we head to the lodge for our customary pre-dinner drinks.

Much to our horror, a couple has arrived from....Orange County... What bad luck is this?! Had they been more, how shall I say, like us? It would have been tolerable... [inner groan]. Some 20 year-olds had booked this segment on their credit cards not realizing that it wasn't really the kind of place they fit into. I was horrified at the prospect of having to hear Frat boy stories peppered with Duuuuude every other word. Like, ya know? Ohmygod!. Shudder. Fortunately, our hosts/guides were very keen observers and set up the dinner tables so that Bob, Jean and us were at one table, the Swiss couple was at another and this Terrible Twosome was at their own table well away from the adults. Exhale, it's okay, it's all okay.

We had a lovely evening. This couple - I just can't say enough about them. I really liked their relationship - friendly, gently teasing, comfortable, nice... They had been married for over 30 years and have experienced so much together. Our conversation was constant and pleasant over a few bottles of wine. It is always a luxury to find oneself amidst excellent company combined with good food and nice wine. The night took a bit of a rough turn as we returned to our cabana and I began my Nightly Bug Check. Sure enough, a poisonous friend was hanging out in the space between the sofa and the bed. Completely unacceptable.

I immediately hopped on the couch and hollered at Mike that he had to get it out! In desperation I gave him an Open Favor. That is one favor to be called in at ANY time, for ANY thing, ANY where. Whoa. Now you know how scared I was. Fortunately we chased it around, he lost a few legs and Mike was able to catch him and throw him outside. Things like that are just too big to smash. Really, just too big. Augh. No more talking about it.

We wake up and it's been pouring rain for a few days now. The river is faster, higher and brown with all the silt that's swirling around. While I like whitewater rafting, I don't like dying or near drowning. I'm a bit nervous as they start to load up all the boats and I see just how many safety kayakers are going with our tiny group. On a good day this part of the river has Class 3s and Class 4s. This is a great day, if you like death or if you are an experienced kayaker. I am, um, neither. I can jump out of a plane hundreds of times, but you get me near water that has the potential to kill me and I am like an angry, pissy cat near bath time. Unpleasant.

However, rafting is pretty much our only option to get out of there at that time. So into the raft I go. Into the front of the raft (bad move). With a little safety pep talk and a how-to-hang-on-to-the-safety-kayak demo we are on our way. Did I mention that it is freezing, raining and I'm near death? Well, know you now. The Swiss Couple is behind Mike and I and I think they are crazy because they seem to be enjoying this. Mike is enjoying this. Andres (the guide) is definitely enjoying this. Highly possible that Mike is trying to kill me and has paid all these people to conspire. Highly likely. The whole Can't Live Without You, Can't Live With You thing.... It could happen.

We are flying down the river, stabbing at the water with our plastic paddles, inhaling gallons of water (please let it be clean), and barely staying right side up. Oh yes, I am feeling the adventure now, thank-you-very-much. Eeeeek! I yell to Mike and ask him if now is a bad time to let him know that I can't swim very well. He laughs, you know me, alwaaaays the joker. Well, it's true. I swim like a platypus without a tail. Not well. I can survive, but not, say, make it out of a Class 4 rapid without a concussion. Not to worry, we lived and I can't tell you how grateful I was to make it to dry land. Wait, I can - I was VERY grateful.

We spent our last night back in San Jose - eating and taking it easy. Our flight was uneventful and everything went smoothly. The best parts about coming home are:

Hot showers with NO time limit
Your own bathroom - and not having to worry about getting eaten alive by bugs while doing your thing.
My King Size Tempurpedic Bed, with the Egyptian Cotton sheets.
Fleecey soft pajamas that are too big for packing in a backpack.
Silence (i.e. no snoring friend).
Knowing I can wake up in the middle of the night and not put my headlamp on to go to avoid death lurking in the forms of bug, snake & scorpion.

The best parts of the trip, of any trip, are immense and innumerable. I will be writing a separate blog on that... Hopefully, much more concise than this rambling pile of work-avoidance this chapter has been......

...Adios muchachos & muchas gracias para leyendo...

Costa Rica Part II (read Part I first)

2009-01-27T07:12:00.000-08:00

....[continued from Part I]....

So here we are at 4:30 a.m. passed out in our sleeping bags on BUNK BEDS careless of what kinds or how many spiders have crawled in our ears and down our throats all night. We are now 2 hours late to begin our hike. I could care less. I'm stiff, sore, exhausted and it's freezing. That is most definitely not the right attitude for conquering mountains, but there, I said it. We are under a time limit - we need to race to the summit, hurry back down to the Crestones Base Lodge, grab our packs, eat something and begin our 14.5km descent back through the cloud forest and through the jungle to our original hotel in San Gerardo de Rivas. It would be really nice to be down before dark... We decide we don't have time for breakfast and stuff our pockets with Cliff Bars and head out to the trail. Surprise, surprise, it's raining. It's cold, windy and raining. We seem to have a summit/rain curse since Peru, so although we are in tropical, warm Costa Rica I am not surprised that it feels like we are in Antarctica.

Onwards we go, up and up and around and over and through and ... you get it. We finally get to the fork in the trail where you either head around or UP. The trail to this point has been meandering in a general uphill trend. The trail from this point is startlingly vertical and technical. The trail ends in stacks upon stacks of rocks. I remind myself that I am agile as a little mountain goat (sure, the clumsy goat of the pack, but still...). The nice thing about this summit is that I can see the Costa Rican flag snapping in the wind above my head pulling me up, reminding me that I am not as far as I think. Finally - we make it! On a clear day you can see lakes and lagoons and both of the oceans (Pacific & Caribbean) as the sun rises. It is muy obsucro and I can't see a damn thing. It's freezing. It's raining. But, there is the elation that only comes with a summit... (and knowing Mike has a bottle of Scotch in his pack). We take our summit pics and sign in the log. We swig a little scotch to warm up and celebrate and then head down.

The descent was great - we made record time - 4.5 hours for 14.5 km. We practically ran. I'm not going to talk about knees, ankles or toenails slamming into shoes. Or pain or what happens when the vicodin wears off. We are just not talking about that. We are both tough. Enough said. After a nice HOT shower at the Hotel Uran at the base we headed for another brutal downhill walk (a hobble really) to town. This time we remembered our headlamps & rain jackets. Town is the only place where beers are found. We celebrated, we laughed, we ate a huge pizza, we passed the hell out in our beds. Mission accomplished.

What day are we on now? I have no idea. This happens while travelling as well... Who am I, where am I and what day is it... Aha! The day of the soaking wet taxi driver and the jerfkace bus driver who wouldn't give us our bags. That all turned into a nice sunset at the Turrialtico Lodge and then that spilled over into far too many cervezas y tequilas. A nice full day of travel and adventure if there ever was one.

The bus ride into Turrialba is worth the plane ticket to Costa Rica alone, for me. There's a place I've been looking for... a piece of land... with rolling hills and farms and mountains and lush vibrant green plants and warm air and gentle breezes and ... you get it... I sat in the back of the bus in a window seat with my ipod on watching acres of 10 foot tall sugar cane blow by. I forgot to breathe. This must be what falling in love is like. I will be going back. Turrialba is not done with me yet.

The following day we head up to our next lodge - the Cerro Alto Pochotel. We happened to be lucky enough to bump into the owners at the Turrialtico lodge who were returning to their place and offered us a ride. The value of this ride is immeasurable as neither of us can walk a few steps without crying and the Pochotel is only a quick 2km walk uphill. Hah. Quick. Whew. Rustic and quaint and sprawling and wild. That describes Cerro Alto. The view is stunning - a complete panorama of the city, the hills, all surrounding pueblos and supposedly on a clear day you can see Chirripo and the Caribbean sea. As you guessed, it is not a clear day.

Here we meet a local man named Freddy who designates himself as our guide...Freddy is kind and gentle and unusual. We set off on a walk to look for sloths (perezosos). We go through the property and through someone elses property and under barbed wire fences. We meet his friends (horses and goats and one lonely cow). We trek through the pueblo of Sitio Mata in which Freddy is related to EVERYONE and they all stop and say hello and chat with us. We see 7 sloths - which are nearly impossible to spot. Without Freddy we wouldn't have seen a damn thing. He teaches us the names of all the birds, trees and flowers. Ever the teacher, he makes us repeat the names and quizzes us on the way back through town.

We stop by a house in which it seems everyone is running around with a half-dead fish in their hands. Kids, adults, girls, men... all running around with fish. Turns out, they have a Tilapia farm in their backyard and are having a cookout. We are greeted by a man our age who slits the belly of a Tilapia, yanks out it's guts and then shakes our hand - fish guts and all...We manage to get our way out of dinner as it didn't seem like a sanitary option for us. I wanted to come home with memories, not parasites... even if we had to hurt their feelings by declining the invite. We spent the rest of the evening drinking Cervezas at the Pochotel, eating our dinner and playing old tunes on the Wurlitzer.

On to our final leg of our journey....

(to be continued, as I really must get some work done today....)

Costa Rica - PART I

2009-01-25T10:24:00.000-08:00

Most who venture to Costa Rica hit a few specific tourist spots that are heavily touristed: Tamarindo, Arenal Volcano, Tortuguero, Guanacaste… Beautiful places, but a bit too developed for our taste. The problem with development is that you go to Costa Rica to get away and you end up in a plane half full of Orange County Bro-Brah Surfers and half full with the tour bus / bird watching crowd. You hear the clanging of English slaughtering Spanish (if they even bother to try). You hear the bitching and moaning and griping and social ladder climbing and it’s not a vacation. Hence, we designed our trip to take us in and away from all that, to plunge into the heart of the country, to climb the highest peak, to raft the hardest river and to immerse ourselves in the sanctuary that is the jungle.

We landed in San Jose on Mike’s birthday at noon and headed directly to our hotel (Hemmingway Inn) – a converted old mansion. The air is hot and sticky and our cab driver discusses the recent terremoto (earthquake) with us. We flow from Spanish to English and he flows from talking about death to life to the sun and our trip plans with the relaxed ease that only a Tico is born with. We depart with a hearty ‘Pura Vida!’ and head to our room to drop our things. Priorities are priorities and before shower-time or nap-time, we must first have beer-time. Bless Costa Rica for its ice cold Imperials. You can get ICE cold beer ANYWHERE in that country.

Later we venture out to the popular part of San Jose (aka the gringo part) called El Pueblo. A bunch of little bars and restaurants crammed together in a street corner surrounded by a wall and secured by taxi drivers buzzing at any exit, eager for a fare. We bounce around a bit as we are the only customers of the place, it seems. Finally, we hear music – LOUD music – and head towards a nice small bar in which we meet Tony The Bartender who runs the place. We spend the rest of the evening with many Imperials, a few Tequilas, a mystery shot for the birthday boy and some tacos. We geek out on music (standard for us anyways) and have a nice night.

Day #2 consists of getting from San Jose to San Isidro via bus. Then catching a cab from San Isidro to San Gerardo de Rivas to check in with the Ranger Station. Then up to our hotel at the very base of the trail for Chirripo. All goes well; with the minor change that we find out we are hiking the very next day instead of the day after that. We change into our swimsuits and head out to hit the hot springs. They are a bit farther away than we realized and it’s a bit later than we thought. The hot springs are not luxurious – they are funneled by a pipe into concrete pools… with a little imagination and plenty of relaxation we find the hot springs to be an infinity pool of Jacuzzi standards. We lazily swim around and let the water from the springs beat down on our backs. Bliss is an easily achieved goal here. We pack up and head down to the town (it IS beer-thirty people!). The town is small and quiet in ways that only a rural town can be mid-week. We drink our beers at La Roca Dura hotel (hard rock hotel, haha!) which is made completely of beautiful wood – even the stools, benches, tables, walls; everything is carved of smooth glorious wood. It’s like being inside of a tree house! No windows, no screens, just the wood and your beer and you and fresh fresh fresh air.

We work our way through our drinks and later next door for some amazing vegetable pizza made by a Canadian man who quit his ‘normal’ life for something of more value. We stare across the river canyon at his enormous house perched hillside amongst the rainforest and nod along with him, yes, yes, we too know that yearning. The sky cracks and dumps sheets of water. We realize, surprised, that we have no headlamps, no rain jackets and no first aid kit. We are ALWAYS over prepared, but here we are, with NOTHING. We get trash bags to cover our backpacks and head on out home. Suburbanites: say this with me: “I do not know how dark it is with no street lights”. Dark is DARK. Dark as in I cannot see my hands in front of my face. We realize it’s no longer really funny. There’s a big river here and two crossings and we cannot see the edge. There are a few forks in the road and we are directionally retarded. There are bugs and monsters and a whole lot of things that can go wrong. This is the kind of stupid mistake that can get experienced people killed for the lamest of all lame reasons. We do eventually make it back, with a few errors. I cannot say how relieved I was to be back and what a good lesson that was for us both.

Day #3 – Up at 4:00, quick typical Tico breakfast of eggs, rice, black beans and toast. We put on our 20lb packs, headlamps, bug spray, and grab our trekking poles and head up the trail. Now I have a few fears that I have always had since I was little. There are the following: the Ocean (although I will surf & kayak, etc…), Bugs/Insects and the Dark. Yes, I am almost 30 and I can be a little scared of the dark sometimes. Haha! So here we are in the JUNGLE people in the DARK with bugs that light up like little dancing flies and the red hungry eyes of creatures lurking in the trees lighting up as we near. The ground is slick with dead leaves and mud and ages of rotting things. Switchbacks can suck on a good day. Switchbacks with mud and rocks at a steep elevation in the dark are a whole new level of suck. Suck it up we did and on we went. I was so happy when the light started breaking the hills. A little sunrise goes a long way with this girl.

The jungle is indescribable – it is immense in a way that the pictures cannot capture. The trees are hundreds of feet tall. Hundreds of years old. Rope-like vines as thick as your forearm hang from impossibly high branches, begging you to do a Tarzan swing. Everything grows on everything else. It’s hard to find the original plant, the actual soil, or a bare rock. Bromeliads suffocate orchids to grow atop trees smothered in vines that brush elbows with lichen only to be tickled by moss. Mosquitoes are persistent. They buzz in your eyes and in your face, hunting the non-DEET covered speck of skin they can get to. Bugs click and buzz and birds sing a thousand strange songs. The jungle is a cacophony of life.

We come out of the sweltering humidity of the jungle, through the cloud forest and out into a scrubby high ground reminiscent of California or Catalina Island – but with a richer variety of brush. Butterflies and lizards reign here. The sun is upon us, the wind occasionally reminding us of our altitude and the clouds blowing in and back rippling through the hills like water on the shore. The last leg of the hike is called Los Repentants. This was brutal for me. Exhausted. Weary. Sore. Uphill without mercy. Hiking on rocks and stones and sandy gritty dirt. Hill after hill, rock after rock, stopping at each tree for a little shade and a little breather. I really did begin to repent at some point. I forgave myself many things. I let things go. I can’t hike with any extra weight – emotionally, spiritually, or mentally. I love this point in any hike – where you dump your excess subconscious baggage. And you breathe. And you move. And you are a living machine of the earth. I kept repeating to myself that all this uphill bullshit would soon become downhill joy when we headed back home. You can’t have one without the other, so I learned to appreciate the uphill to love the uphill – as much as I would love the downhill.

Mike was waiting at the end of the trail for me. I was beyond joy to see him, as I knew that signified my end. We hobbled in to the Crestones Base Lodge and up (stairs, ugh!) to our dorm room. There we took the COLDEST shower of our lives. If you took 3 gallons of water and let it sit in a bathtub of ice and then let it trickle out of a narrow pipe – then you would know what that shower was like. We made our simple dinner and drifted off to sleep. Drifted off right through our 2:30 alarm.

……more to be written shortly…….